


carry on the banana

by finnsdead (Magic_Cait)



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Multi, chat fic, davey is super proper i love him, hoh!specs, mush/blink is an underrated pairing, nb!skittery, text fic, this is gay lol, this is just shitposting, trans!mush, trans!spot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-09-27 12:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10020350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magic_Cait/pseuds/finnsdead
Summary: this is a chat fic, im warning you nowits just a massive shitpostnew chapters are posted on fridays!!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> spot: kingofbrooklyn  
> race: pokerface  
> jack: cowboy.kelly  
> dave: davidjacobs  
> kath: newsbian  
> sarah: gay.sj  
> specs: xballet.boyx  
> crutchie: crippled.crouton  
> mush: mush.m  
> blink: kid.blink

**cowboy.kelly** added **pokerface** , **newsbian** , **crippled.crouton** , **mush.m** , **xballet.boyx** , **gay.sj** , and **kid.blink** to  carry on the banana

_8:53 PM_

**cowboy.kelly** : hey guys what up

 **pokerface** : NO THE GROUP NAME

 **mush.m** : what is this??

 **xballet.boyx** : is the name from that one party we had like 2 months ago when race got high

 **pokerface** : W H A T I S Y O U R N A M E

 **xballet.boyx** : ask jack

 **cowboy.kelly** : (its a meme, i took it from sarah)

 **gay.sj** : its edgy, leave ballet boy alone

 **gay.sj** : also when did race get high

 **xballet.boyx** : 2 months ago,,,,,,

 **xballet.boyx** : at a party,,,,,,

 **cowboy.kelly** : we were talking about paper routes and race said “yeah you gotta keep,,, carry on the banana”

 **pokerface** : I WAS H I G H LEAVE ME ALONE

 **pokerface** : THIS IS CYBERBULLYING

 **newsbian** : Race no one is bullying you, Sarah asked a question

 **pokerface** : whoa ms fancy pants with your

 **pokerface** : capital

 **pokerface** : letters

 **gay.sj** : someone add david im cackling and hes staring at me

 **cowboy.kelly** added **davidjacobs** to  carry on the banana

 **gay.sj** : thx lmao

 **newsbian** : Sarah are you actually cackling thats so cute!!!

 **gay.sj** : yes

 **gay.sj** : also thats gay

 **newsbian** : ;)

 **gay.sj** : actually that was a bad idea, davids phone keeps making noise im gonna punch him

 **davidjacobs** : What is this chat? You guys interrupted the best thing in the world.

 **pokerface** : sex??????????

 **cowboy.kelly** : dave i thought u were a virgin??

 **davidjacobs** : No, you’re interrupting Chess!

 **mush.m** : are you actually jason from falsettos?

 **davidjacobs** : Yes. I’m Jewish and too smart for my own good. Although I don’t hate my father, and I willingly went to therapy.

 **davidjacobs** : Also, I don’t know anyone named Whizzer.

 **davidjacobs** : I wasn’t playing chess, either, I was watching Chess (the musical).

 **pokerface** : who tf is jason

 **mush.m** sent _anthonyrosenthal.jpg_

 **mush.m** : this kid!!

 **pokerface** : i dont really like kids but that kids adorable wtf????

 **mush.m** : i know!! i saw him in falsettos, actually!!

 **davidjacobs** : That’s so cool!

 **cowboy.kelly** : damn i forgot to add spot

 **cowboy.kelly** added **kingofbrooklyn** to  carry on the banana

 **kingofbrooklyn** : why am i here

 **cowboy.kelly** : why not

 **davidjacobs** : Can everyone tell me who they are? I know Jack, Race, Kath, and Spot (and Sarah, obviously), but I don’t know anyone else.

 **xballet.boyx** : im specs, everyone else knows me

 **mush.m** : i’m mush!! i live in texas, i met jack on tumblr like 2 years ago

 **kid.blink** : i haven’t even been in this chat but hi im blink

 **kid.blink** : i met race on tumblr first and then met the rest of these nerds

 **kid.blink** : wAIT

 **kid.blink** : mush you live in tx? where?

 **mush.m** : maxdale!!

 **kid.blink** : I LIVE IN YOUNGSPORT

 **mush.m** : omg!!

 **kingofbrooklyn** : i just looked up a map of the state of texas and yall live 2 towns away from each other and

 **kingofbrooklyn** : you are separated

 **kingofbrooklyn** : by a town called

 **kingofbrooklyn** : d i n g d o n g

 **pokerface** : you could say theyre

 **pokerface** : one dong apart

 **kid.blink** : sorry thats one _ding dong_

 **crippled.crouton** : Im sorry Im late guys!!!

 **crippled.crouton** : I was napping

 **pokerface** : oh my god thats adorable

 **davidjacobs** : Hi Crutchie!

 **cowboy.kelly** : hello my son

 **xballet.boyx** : isn’t crutchie everyone’s child

 **mush.m** : blink i’m coming over, i want a hug

 **kid.blink** : im down

 **cowboy.kelly** : wow its gettin spicy

 **mush.m** : ;)

 **kid.blink** : gay

 **pokerface** : gross

 **kingofbrooklyn** : arent u gay

 **pokerface** : no

 **pokerface** : im bi get your facts str8

 **kingofbrooklyn** : ugh

 **kid.blink** : honestly its dumb that we live so close and we’ve never met

 **mush.m** : yeah

 **mush.m** : but now!! we can!!

 **gay.sj** : omg r you two finally meeting what did i miss

 **cowboy.kelly** : apparently they lived 2 twons away from each other and never knew

 **cowboy.kelly** : towns*

 **mush.m** : guys!!!!

 **mush.m** sent _thegayhasarrived.jpg_

 **crippled.crouton** : Awwwww!!!!

 **pokerface** : thats disgusting

 **cowboy.kelly** : thats daveys line bitch

 **newsbian** : thats a gendered slur, Jack

 **gay.sj** : thats my girl!!!! defend me!!!

 **kid.blink** : G U Y S

 **kid.blink** sent _thegayestthingever.jpg_

 **cowboy.kelly** : ARE YOU KISSING

 **kid.blink** : yES

 **cowboy.kelly** : THATS GAY BUT ALSO

 **cowboy.kelly** : CONGRATS LOVEBIRDS

 **xballet.boyx** : are you two dating???

 **kid.blink** : MAYBE????? IDK WE JUST KISSED A LOT

 **kid.blink** : BYE I’LL BE BACK IN A BIT

 **davidjacobs** : Okay, so they had never met before today and now they’re together?

 **gay.sj** : i guess

 **gay.sj** : i doubt its just a hookup bc theyve known each other for like a 1 ½ years

 **cowboy.kelly** : also mush has gushed to me about blink on several occasions

 **crippled.crouton** : Thats so cute!!

 **kingofbrooklyn** : tHEIR SHIP NAME IS BLUSH

 **pokerface** : I WAS GONNA SAY THAT BOI FUCK YOU

 **davidjacobs** : Can we stop with the yelling?

 **cowboy.kelly** : ur no fun dave

 **xballet.boyx** : guys i have to go to bed, i have dance in the morning

 **kingofbrooklyn** : lame

 **xballet.boyx** : huh well thats not what you said when you saw the video of my dance recital last month

 **kingofbrooklyn** : touche

 **davidjacobs** : I have to go to bed soon, too.

 **cowboy.kelly** : davey can i sneak in your window

 **davidjacobs** : No.

 **cowboy.kelly** : too bad im already on my way

 **pokerface** : g night yall im being yelled at

 **crippled.crouton** : I have to go to bed too, I have PT tomorrow at 9

 **cowboy.kelly** : im assuming “blush” is gonna go to bed too ;)))

 **newsbian** : i have work tomorrow so im gonna turn in

 **gay.sj** : what kind of 1900s bs is “im gonna turn in” omg

 **newsbian** : let me live babe

 **gay.sj** : only if its with me ;)

 **newsbian** : of course <3

 **gay.sj** : <33333

 **pokerface** : g a y

 **cowboy.kelly** : g o o d n i g h t

 **kingofbrooklyn** : bye


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for all your super sweet comments!! it means so much!!!
> 
> also!! i didnt mean for this to get as angsty as it did!! im sorry!!!
> 
> i hope its still funny!!

**pokerface** added **cowboy.kelly** , **newsbian** , **xballet.boyx** , and **crippled.crouton** to the group  the jack kelly help squad

_3:12 PM_

**pokerface** : okay jackie boy what is ur issue

 **cowboy.kelly** : wym

 **xballet.boyx** : okay

 **xballet.boyx** : youve been weird lately and v not touchy which is not u

 **crippled.crouton** : Yeah, whats wrong???

 **cowboy.kelly** : i have no idea what youre talkin about,,,,,

 **newsbian** : its Davey

 **pokerface** : ????

 **newsbian** : hes head over heels for Davey

 **cowboy.kelly** : no

 **newsbian** : (im sorry its super obvious)

 **crippled.crouton** : Wait, Im confused

 **xballet.boyx** : that makes so much sense omg we’re so blind guys

 **newsbian** sent _hearteyesjackie.jpg_

 **newsbian** sent _melookingatsarah.jpg_

 **newsbian** : this is how i know, Jack

 **crippled.crouton** : Oh wow it is obvious

 **cowboy.kelly** : can you guys let me live???

 **cowboy.kelly** : yes, im in love with davey fycking jacobs

 **cowboy.kelly** : fucking**

 **cowboy.kelly** : i cant do anything about it

 **cowboy.kelly** : so leave me alone.

 **pokerface** : oh shit the full stop sorry

 **newsbian** : im really sorry Jack

 **newsbian** : if you need to talk ever im here, okay?

 **cowboy.kelly** has left the group  the jack kelly help squad

 **xballet.boyx** : damn we fucked up

 **pokerface** : no one ever talk to him about this ever unless u wanna die, okay

 **crippled.crouton** : Yeah

 **newsbian** : im sorry guys

 **xballet.boyx** : its okay, kath

 **xballet.boyx** : u didnt know

 **xballet.boyx** : we are all sworn to secrecy now, understood?

 **pokerface** : yup

 **newsbian** : yeah

 **crippled.crouton** : Got it

 

 **cowboy.kelly** to **newsbian**

_4:47 PM_

**cowboy.kelly** : kath

 **cowboy.kelly** : imma take u up on that offer

 **newsbian** : okay?

 **cowboy.kelly** : kath i cant

 **cowboy.kelly** : hes so cute i hate him

 **newsbian** : what did he do?

 **cowboy.kelly** : im @ his house studying and he just started humming cooking by the book really quietly

 **cowboy.kelly** : but the lil jon version

 **cowboy.kelly** : im s c r e e c h i n g

 **newsbian** : send me a video holy crap

 **cowboy.kelly** sent _breakitdowndave.mov_

 **newsbian** : cursed video

 **cowboy.kelly** : im dead

 **newsbian** : ill speak at your funeral

 **newsbian** : btw have u heard from either Blink or Mush??

 **cowboy.kelly** : ye theyre on a date rn

 **newsbian** : cute

 **cowboy.kelly** : ye

 **cowboy.kelly** : kath i just want to kiss him

 **cowboy.kelly** : right on the mouth

 **cowboy.kelly** : shit hes staring i gtg

 **newsbian** : good luck boo!!

 **cowboy.kelly** : thx

 

 **xballet.boyx** to  carry on the banana

_5:16 PM_

**xballet.boyx** : someone just came up to me and gave me nine dollars and then walked away??

 **xballet.boyx** : do i look that homeless rn??

 **gay.sj** : thats incredible oh my god

 **xballet.boyx** : she was crying too

 **kingofbrooklyn** : how homeless do u look tho

 **xballet.boyx** sent _hashtaghomeless.jpg_

 **pokerface** : what

 **davidjacobs** : …

 **cowboy.kelly** : im GAY

 **pokerface** : this is illegal im calling the police

 **davidjacobs** : Sometimes I ask myself if I’m actually gay, and it’s times like these where I know I am a homosexual.

 **gay.sj** : NUT

 **kingofbrooklyn** : get in me

 **newsbian** : i have become a Straight

 **xballet.boyx** : thanks guys!!!

 **xballet.boyx** : also no thanks spot

 **pokerface** : sPOT

 **xballet.boyx** sent _thisboyisabottom.gif_

 **gay.sj** : AHHHH

 **crippled.crouton** : What did I wake up to haha

 **cowboy.kelly** : NNOOO CRUTCHIE YOUR PURE EYES

 **cowboy.kelly** : LEAVE MY SON OUT OF THIS

 **xballet.boyx** : @ crutchie: ;) (also were you napping??)

 **crippled.crouton** : Also Specs you look super good!!! (Yes I was!!)

 **xballet.boyx** : thank u bb

 **crippled.crouton** : No problem!!

 **kingofbrooklyn** : this kid is so positive im vomiting rainbows

 **mush.m** : spot you already vomit rainbows on a daily basis, shut up

 **kid.blink** : THATS MY BOY

 **gay.sj** : s a v a g e

 **crippled.crouton** : Thank you Spot!! I try to stay positive!!

 **kingofbrooklyn** : thats a LIE mush and you know it

 **mush.m** : sure

 **davidjacobs** : Crutchie, you’re so nice to everyone!

 **crippled.crouton** : Thanks Davey!!!!

 **davidjacobs** : GUYS OH MY GOSH BEYONCE

 **pokerface** : guys did you hear about beyonce

 **mush.m** : no?? what’s up with her??

 **pokerface** : idk im relying on dave to tell us

 **davidjacobs** : SHES HAVING TWINS

 **kid.blink** : tell her i said congrats

 **davidjacobs** : AAAAHHHHH

 **cowboy.kelly** : holy shit guys dave isnt usin grammar

 **davidjacobs** : DONT MOCK ME I LOVE BEYONCE

 **kingofbrooklyn** : geez kid chill

 **mush.m** : yay!!

 **mush.m** : honestly i love queen bey and everything she stands for

 **pokerface** : i like a few of her songs but i havent heard many

 **mush.m** : disgrace

 **pokerface** : dont shame me for being a grandpa

 **cowboy.kelly** : id shame my own grandpa for not liking the queen of the modern world

 **mush.m** : i once took a video of houston while playing run the world

 **cowboy.kelly** : vid or it didnt happen

 **mush.m** sent _houstontexasbaby.mov_

 **kingofbrooklyn** : goals

 **davidjacobs** : That’s so funny!

 **cowboy.kelly** : aww old dave is back

 **pokerface** : i liked new davey

 **crippled.crouton** : I like Davey whether he uses proper grammar or not!!!

 **kingofbrooklyn** : im gonna vomit thats so nice

 **mush.m** : crutchie is the nicest one of us

 **crippled.crouton** : Aww thanks guys!!

 **gay.sj** : #rude

 **cowboy.kelly** : are you denying that crutchie gives us constant support on everything we do and is basically the reason none of us are really fucking suicidal

 **gay.sj** : no

 **gay.sj** : im saying him and mush are tied for first

 **gay.sj** : mush is so sweet its gross

 **kid.blink** : rt rt rt

 **mush.m** : aww thanks sarah!!!!

 **davidjacobs** : I agree with Jack, I’d be in a really bad place without Crutchie.

 **davidjacobs** : I’d be in a better place without Jack, though.

 **cowboy.kelly** : STOP THE LIES YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME

 **davidjacobs** : What lies, Jackie?

 **gay.sj** : stop being mean david

 **gay.sj** : jackie doesnt deserve this treatment

 **cowboy.kelly** : THANK YOU SARAH

 **cowboy.kelly** : FUCCI G PUNCH HIM FOR ME

 **kingofbrooklyn** : im cACKLING HAHAHHAHA

 **kingofbrooklyn** : I PRONOUNCED “FUCCI” LIKE GUCCI IM SOBBIG

 **pokerface** : why am i not surprised

 **cowboy.kelly** : hOLY SHIT

 **gay.sj** : HAHHAHHAHAHAHA

 **kingofbrooklyn** : “fucc” also looks a lot like “succ”

 **pokerface** : i hate you wtf

 **cowboy.kelly** : THANK YOU SPOT THAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER

 **gay.sj** : spot go jump off a cliff

 **pokerface** : leave my best friend alone sarah

 **kingofbrooklyn** : im not ur friend race where did u get that idea

 **pokerface** : our snap streak

 **kingofbrooklyn** : 758 days is nothing in the life of a king

 **pokerface** : if you break our streak ill break your neck

 

 **mush.m** to  carry on the banana

_12:23 AM_

**mush.m** : hey hey hello

 **cowboy.kelly** : why are you awake wtf

 **mush.m** : i cant sleep

 **cowboy.kelly** : u can vent if u need to

 **mush.m** : it’s nothing, i’m just a lil dysphoric!!

 **xballet.boyx** : spill

 **mush.m** : i don’t wanna burden you

 **xballet.boyx** : what happened

 **mush.m** : fine

 **mush.m** : my grandparents are visiting and they refuse to use my name or pronouns and i don’t really know what to do

 **mush.m** : and i haven’t told anyone about blink because my parents barely accept me being a dude and being hella gay on top of that would probably mean getting kicked out

 **cowboy.kelly** : come live with me, my aunt is the shit

 **mush.m** : fuck knows i can’t afford a plane trip to ny

 **cowboy.kelly** : im here for u kid

 **xballet.boyx** : youre valid and i love you!!

 **cowboy.kelly** : u can do this!!!

 **mush.m** : gn i love u guys

 

 **kid.blink** to **mush.m**

_1:08 AM_

**kid.blink** : hey

 **kid.blink** : i love you.

 **kid.blink** : you are valid.

 **kid.blink** : you are handsome and manly as fuck and whoever fucks with you is gonna get their ass kicked.

 **kid.blink** : good night.

_7:14 AM_

**mush.m** : i love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next weeks chapter: gays and selfies!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gays and selfies (and a bit of setting up)

**cowboy.kelly** to  carry on the banana 

_4:16 PM_

**cowboy.kelly** : can we have a compliment party

 **crippled.crouton** : Heck yes I love compliment parties!!

 **xballet.boyx** : fuck yeah

 **xballet.boyx** : jackie u go first

 **cowboy.kelly** sent _borderlineboudiorjackkelly.jpg_

 **pokerface** : im sweating

 **gay.sj** : what the fuck??????

 **davidjacobs** : Oh my gosh. Is this legal?

 **kingofbrooklyn** : damn son

 **xballet.boyx** : N U T N U T N U T N U T

 **crippled.crouton** : Thats my best friend!!!!

 **mush.m** : tall drink of water

 **davidjacobs** : I’m taller.

 **newsbian** : ^^ savagee

 **cowboy.kelly** : @ davey: u go next u rude ass ho

 **davidjacobs** : Fine.

 **davidjacobs** sent _eatyourheartoutjackkelly.jpg_

 **davidjacobs** : Eat your words.

 **mush.m** : _taller_ drink of water  w o w

 **kingofbrooklyn** : um what the hell

 **pokerface** : iM SWEATING

 **newsbian** : Sarah im leaving you for Davey

 **crippled.crouton** : Did I take this picture??

 **xballet.boyx** : IM GAY

 **gay.sj** : david give me my gf back

 **cowboy.kelly** : fuc

 **davidjacobs** : Yes, Crutchie, I think you did.

 **cowboy.kelly** : im 80% sure being both abnormally cute and abnormally hot at the same time is illegal sorry i dont make the rules ur goin to jail

 **davidjacobs** : Ha.

 **crippled.crouton** : Me next!!

 **crippled.crouton** sent _meafterthatshow.jpg_

 **xballet.boyx** : what the FUCK crutchie

 **kingofbrooklyn** : oh my god hes like a puppy

 **pokerface** : crutchie u melted spot congrats

 **cowboy.kelly** : im gonna print this out and put up posters all over nyc that say “look at my son. he is the cutest. i dont make the rules.”

 **gay.sj** : what a muffin!!!

 **newsbian** : you look like Robin Hood in the cutest way possible

 **crippled.crouton** : Aww thanks guys!!

 **davidjacobs** : Jack, can I join you in hanging posters? This picture is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

 **xballet.boyx** : im next bitches

 **xballet.boyx** sent _newheadshot.jpg_

 **gay.sj** : 1) jesus 2) where tf r ur glasses

 **xballet.boyx** : not there sarah fuc u

 **cowboy.kelly** : wow i am Gay????

 **crippled.crouton** : Is this your new headshot??

 **newsbian** : i am the most Bisexual

 **newsbian** : i have ever been

 **mush.m** : i was expecting a picture of you like, mid split

 **xballet.boyx** : yes this is my new headshot and i had too many dance pics to choose from so i did this instead

 **pokerface** : im with mush on this but daammnn

 **kingofbrooklyn** : i have been pleasantly surprised

 **pokerface** : im an attention whore im going next

 **pokerface** sent _racetrackhotshit.jpg_

 **kingofbrooklyn** : anTHONY

 **pokerface** : stfu spot

 **newsbian** : AHHH

 **davidjacobs** : Well, dang.

 **gay.sj** : J E S U S

 **crippled.crouton** : Holy crap Race

 **xballet.boyx** : i cant  b rea the

 **cowboy.kelly** : DAMN

 **mush.m** : i showed this to blink and he screamed

 **mush.m** : you better not steal my man

 **kid.blink** : HOT SHIT

 **pokerface** : geez yall chill

 **pokerface** : also mush should go

 **mush.m** : okay!!!

 **mush.m** sent _ifeelgreat.jpg_

 **kid.blink** : thats my BOYFRIEND

 **cowboy.kelly** : WHAT A HANDSOME MAN

 **pokerface** : boy what the hell u look gr8???

 **newsbian** : wowow what a cutie

 **gay.sj** : dat jawline tho

 **crippled.crouton** : Holy cow Mush

 **xballet.boyx** : has blink cut his hand on your jawline yet

 **davidjacobs** : I agree with everyone, Mush, you look incredibly handsome!

 **kingofbrooklyn** : you outrank race

 **pokerface** : OFFENDED

 **pokerface** : ranking is illegal

 **mush.m** : aww thanks guys!!!!

 **newbian** : can i go next??

 **mush.m** : yes!!

 **newsbian** sent _thatonereallygoodpiccrutchietook.jpg_

 **gay.sj** : SHIT IM IN LOVE

 **pokerface** : hEll

 **kingofbrooklyn** : see,,, if i was bi,,,,, id be down,,,

 **mush.m** : i think this is the first picture i've ever seen of you but holy lord kath you’re gorgeous!!

 **xballet.boyx** : loml marry me

 **kid.blink** : queen

 **cowboy.kelly** : i have good taste damn girl

 **davidjacobs** : I forgot that you two dated!

 **crippled.crouton** : So did I Jack!! Haha!!

 **newsbian** : even i forgot about that haha

 **gay.sj** : lmao both girls u dated ended up being gay as fuck

 **davidjacobs** : The Catholic Church must hate you, Jack. You turn every girl you date gay.

 **cowboy.kelly** : stop mocking me

 **cowboy.kelly** : what if i dated a gay boy though

 **cowboy.kelly** : would i turn him straight???

 **kingofbrooklyn** : maybe

 **xballet.boyx** : why dont you try?

 **cowboy.kelly** : k, someone hook me up

 **gay.sj** : CAN I GO NOW PLEASE

 **gay.sj** sent _beachbitch.jpg_

 **newsbian** : AHHH YOURE SO HOT

 **davidjacobs** : Am I obligated to say anything?

 **cowboy.kelly** : i have great taste part 2

 **mush.m** : you’re so pretty!!!

 **xballet.boyx** : you look like a 20s icon

 **pokerface** : tru ^^

 **kid.blink** : oh my god im gonna punch you youre gorgeous

 **crippled.crouton** : Sarah!!!! Youre gorgeous!!!!

 **kingofbrooklyn** : nut

 **kid.blink** : my turn

 **kid.blink** sent _mybestside.jpg_

 **mush.m** : i’m swooning

 **kingofbrooklyn** : texas boy is cute

 **pokerface** : RT RT

 **cowboy.kelly** : is that a fucking cowboy hat

 **cowboy.kelly** : also nUt

 **gay.sj** : hello angel

 **newsbian** : youre from Texas, this is illegal

 **mush.m** : kath that’s stateist

 **xballet.boyx** : AWWWWWWWW PRECIOUS BAB

 **kid.blink** : no its not a cowboy hat you asshole

 **davidjacobs** : I’m taking the first plane ride to Texas.

 **mush.m** : daveY NO HE’S TAKEN

 **kingofbrooklyn** : its my turn bitches

 **kingofbrooklyn** sent _idsmokeallyoubitches.jpg_

 **pokerface** : heLLO

 **gay.sj** : D A M N

 **newsbian** : well you _look_ like a king

 **crippled.crouton** : I like the crown!!!

 **cowboy.kelly** : YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS I SALUTE YOU

 **kid.blink** : dude why tf does that crown suit you

 **davidjacobs** : Bye guys, I’m driving to Brooklyn.

 **pokerface** : DAVEY NO

 **mush.m** : omg those cheekbones

 **kingofbrooklyn** : this is literally just inflating my ego lol thanks

 **pokerface** : im rioting spot this is fucking illegal

 **xballet.boyx** : are you single

 **kingofbrooklyn** : whos asking

 **xballet.boyx** : me

 **kingofbrooklyn** : no

 **xballet.boyx** : k cool

 **crippled.crouton** : Youre all so attractive!! Im so lucky to have you guys as friends!!!

 **pokerface** sent _crutchiestwitter.jpg_

 **pokerface** : crutchie youre so fucking kind

 **gay.sj** : awww crutchie we love u too

 **crippled.crouton** : <33

 **gay.sj** : <3

 **xballet.boyx** : jack do you want me to find u a bf

 **xballet.boyx** : like for real

 **cowboy.kelly** : yes please im desperate

 **xballet.boyx** : k im on it fam

 **cowboy.kelly** : bless

 **cowboy.kelly** : u gotta send me pics of the candidates tho

 **newsbian** : this is so funny honestly Jack im so glad

 **gay.sj** : i hope u find urself a cutie

 **cowboy.kelly** : so do i

 **cowboy.kelly** : SPECS he cant be cuter than yours truly because thats not fair to anyone else

 **xballet.boyx** : gotchu

 **xballet.boyx** : the hunt for jacks new bae has begun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all your kind comments and messages!!!! every time i see a new comment it makes my whole day!!!
> 
> (the picture of spot in my brain is him sitting sideways on a throne with one leg over the side wearing a crown and a big red cape and holding his stupid cane)
> 
> (also crutchiestwitter.jpg is a screenshot of a tweet by crutchie that reads "I love all my friends!! Theyre all so kind and beautiful!!")
> 
>  
> 
> next chapter: a new character!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yikes

**unknown** to **xballet.boyx**

_7:54 PM_

**unknown** : Hey ;)

**xballet.boyx** : hi???

**unknown** : You single?

**xballet.boyx** : why???

**unknown** : Because your hot as fuck ;)

**xballet.boyx** : ??? what the hell????

**unknown** : What?

**xballet.boyx** : go away??? im not interested

**unknown** : Come on, sexy

**unknown** : Just one night?

**xballet.boyx** : nO???

**xballet.boyx** : go the fuck away

**unknown** : You sure?

**xballet.boyx** has blocked **unknown**

  


**xballet.boyx** to  carry on the banana 

_8:04 PM_

**xballet.boyx** : GUYS SOME CREEP JUST HIT ON ME

**xballet.boyx** sent _screenshotsofthecreep.jpg_

**xballet.boyx** : WHAT THE FUCK????????

**cowboy.kelly** : who the fuc

**newsbian** : oh shit

**crippled.crouton** : Oh no!!

**cowboy.kelly** : can you track the ip??

**xballet.boyx** : idk what that is

**cowboy.kelly** : i dont either tbh

**davidjacobs** : Usually yes, you can track the user, unless they’ve hidden the account, but I doubt someone like that knows how to do that.

**xballet.boyx** : can you do that????

**davidjacobs** : I can’t, no. Sorry!

**crippled.crouton** : Didnt we know someone who was good at computer stuff in middle school??

**cowboy.kelly** : who are u thinking of

**pokerface** : skittery?

**crippled.crouton** : Yes!! Do you think hed help??

**cowboy.kelly** : maybe

**cowboy.kelly** : race can u track him down

**pokerface** : i can try

**newsbian** : this kids name is Skittery?

**cowboy.kelly** : yeah

**cowboy.kelly** : he had some serious anxiety issues and Never Stopped Moving

**davidjacobs** : Wow, Jack, you used capital letters!

**cowboy.kelly** : get fucked davey its For Emphasis

**newsbian** : calm down Jack

**cowboy.kelly** : n o

**davidjacobs** : If you want to fight, Jack, you know where I am.

**cowboy.kelly** : dave im not gonna fight u

**davidjacobs** : Wimp.

**cowboy.kelly** : excUSE ME BITCH IM COMING OVER

**davidjacobs** : Okay.

**cowboy.kelly** : actually my aunt would kill me so

**davidjacobs** : Another time, then.

**cowboy.kelly** : youre so proper davey geez stop it

**newsbian** : you two bicker like a married couple aww

**cowboy.kelly** : stfu kath

**newsbian** : ;)

**kid.blink** : can i tell a story??

**kingofbrooklyn** : go ahead

**pokerface** : thROW YOUR ROCKS AT ME

**davidjacobs** : From your little glass house, and then take off running.

**mush.m** : you’re no better than me

**pokerface** : WEVE BOTH MADE MISTAKES

**kingofbrooklyn** : shut the fuck up

**pokerface** :  H A V E N T   W E

**newsbian** : guys please

**kid.blink** : okay so my story is i may have punched someone today

**mush.m** : excuse me??

**kid.blink** : one of my school friends saw me and mush on our date the other day and noticed we were holding hands

**kid.blink** : he confronted me after school and cornered me and asked me a bunch of questions

**kid.blink** : he asked who mush was and i told him mush was my bf and he looked so offended and i may have laughed a bit and then he was like “whats so funny, (rude word for gays)?” and i got pissed and punched him in the nose

**cowboy.kelly** : SAVAGE

**kid.blink** : honestly it was kind of hilarious because he started crying after lol

**mush.m** : babe omg are you okay??

**kid.blink** : yeah, he ran off after i punched him and i cant get punished because it wasnt on school grounds

**mush.m** : you could’ve lied about who i was

**kid.blink** : im not going to hide you babe thats dumb

**pokerface** : im sorry to interrupt this lovely sentimental conversation (gr8 job blink lol i wouldve done that too) but i found skits

**cowboy.kelly** : give me the username, ill dm him

**pokerface** : its wittyskitty

**cowboy.kelly** : k brb

**pokerface** : also blink thats honestly so cool that u did that

**pokerface** : idk if id be that brave ever

**kingofbrooklyn** : what a great thing to do tbh i would also do that   


 

**cowboy.kelly** to **wittyskitty**

_8:22 PM_

**cowboy.kelly** : is this skittery?

**wittyskitty** : jack kelly??

**cowboy.kelly** : hi!!

**wittyskitty** : i haven’t heard from you for years! what’s up?

**cowboy.kelly** : not much, hbu??

**wittyskitty** : same here, not much has changed lol

**cowboy.kelly** : do u still do the computer stuff?? ive got a mini problem

**wittyskitty** : yeah i do, what’s the problem?

**cowboy.kelly** : okay so a creep messaged specs (do u remember him??) and we want to figure out who it was

**cowboy.kelly** : his account said “unknown” but do u think u can help??

**wittyskitty** : of course i remember him!!! and yeah, i could try!! what’s specs’ username??

**cowboy.kelly** : its xballet.boyx

**wittyskitty** : k!! how’s the rest of the og squad??

**cowboy.kelly** : v good lol crutchies as cheery as always and race still has a gambling issue

**cowboy.kelly** : specs glowed up a heck ton and i got gayer

**wittyskitty** : (same) how gay??

**cowboy.kelly** : im pan but ive got a massive crush on my bff

**wittyskitty** : is it crutchie?????

**cowboy.kelly** : nah (hes adorable but hes my son)

**cowboy.kelly** : its this kid named davey

**cowboy.kelly** sent _daveymylove.jpg_

**wittyskitty** : w o w

**cowboy.kelly** : ikr i love him

**wittyskitty** : he looks gay too

**cowboy.kelly** : oh hes quite Homosexual

**wittyskitty** : why dont you go for it then??

**cowboy.kelly** : dang man i cant im not that bold

**wittyskitty** : the jackie i knew was the bravest dude ever

**cowboy.kelly** : no ones ever told me to actually go for it yikes

**cowboy.kelly** : i may just do that

**cowboy.kelly** : tomorrow

**wittyskitty** : do it!!!ll

  
  


**xballet.boyx** to  carry on the banana 

_9:14 PM_

**xballet.boyx** : GUYS SKITTERY FIGURED OUT WHO IT WAS LOLOLOLOL

**crippled.crouton** : Who was it??

**xballet.boyx** : OSCAR FUCKING DELANCEY

**cowboy.kelly** : wHAT

**pokerface** : youve got to be kidding wtf

**pokerface** : that boy was a Heterosexual Mess

**crippled.crouton** : Oscar??? Didnt he bully people for being bi?

**xballet.boyx** : tHATS WHY IM CONFUSED

**davidjacobs** : He messaged me once, actually.

**cowboy.kelly** : spill the deets

**davidjacobs** : It was sophomore year and I had just put my Instagram on public and put my sexuality in my bio, and he messaged me and offered to give me “the best night of my life”.

**cowboy.kelly** : 1) why didnt u tell me 2) im bOUTTA KILL HIM

**xballet.boyx** : RUDE

**davidjacobs** : Jack, we weren’t really friends when it happened so there was no reason to tell you.

**pokerface** : im gonna dm him and threaten him bye

**crippled.crouton** : Tell us what he says!!

**pokerface** : okay the message has been sent

**cowboy.kelly** : whatd u say

**pokerface** : i said “hello oscar. you might remember me from middle school. you kicked my ass because i was bisexual. i hear now youre harassing my male friends, which is strange, because you beat me and many other kids up for liking to kiss boys. the things youre offering are a little beyond kissing, so i’d like an explanation please.”

**cowboy.kelly** : DAMN

**pokerface** : HE RESPONDED

**pokerface** : “Hey Racetrack” WHERES MY FUCKIN ANSWER

**pokerface** : “I dont know what youre talking about, but I assure you im not a” (rude gay word) NO THANKS GET THAT UGLY WORD OUT OF HERE

**pokerface** : “Im sure you need another ass kicking if you think Id say anything that a fucking queer would” NOPE IM GONNA BLOCK HIM NOT TODAY

**kingofbrooklyn** : whats his @ imma go kill him

**pokerface** : i blocked him i cant

**kingofbrooklyn** : im serious race let me kill him

**pokerface** : nO

**kingofbrooklyn** : can i at least kick his ass????

**pokerface** : he lives in midtown so if u find him go ahead but idk anything else

**kingofbrooklyn** : k cool bye

**cowboy.kelly** : thats real love there guys

**crippled.crouton** : Best friend goals!!

**davidjacobs** : I agree.

**pokerface** : wAIT SPOT ITS LATE GO TOMORROW PLZ

**kingofbrooklyn** : fine

**crippled.crouton** : Good night guys!!!!

**davidjacobs** : Good night, Crutchie!

**cowboy.kelly** : gn my son sleep well  
**xballet.boyx** : bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (p.s. i know nothing about computers im very sorry)
> 
> thank you for all your kind messages on tumblr!!! i'll tell you a secret: i thrive off attention and praise so if you want this to last longer, keep doing what you're doing!!!
> 
> next week: new info on specs and davey freaks out!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> specs reveals a thing and davey freaks out

**newsbian** to  carry on the banana

_ 11:36 AM _

**newsbian** : MY FILM TEACHER JUST TRIED TO ARGUE THAT GAYS DONT CLUMP 

**newsbian** : I WAS MAD BC IN MOVIES AND TV SHOWS THERES ONLY ONE GAY IN THE GROUP

**newsbian** : SO HE WAS LIKE “because its not realistic to have more than one” AND I LISTED OFF THE SEXUALITIES OF ALL OF YOU GUYS (i didnt say names) AND HE STOOD THERE AND THIS GROUP OF KIDS IN THE BACK LITERALLY STARTED CLAPPING

**cowboy.kelly** : the real advocate for our generation is katherine plumber guys

**gay.sj** : oh my god i love you

**kid.blink** : you take a film class??? thats so cool??

**newsbian** : ye we discuss/make films and debate on good tropes and bad tropes

**newsbian** : its lit

**kid.blink** : that sounds amazing also slay my life 

**gay.sj** : my gf is amazing i love her guys what a beautiful lady

**davidjacobs** : I’m about to vomit, Sarah.

**cowboy.kelly** : he literally looks green lololol

**kid.blink** : how do u know

**cowboy.kelly** : we @ lunch

**newsbian** : davey wouldnt be on his phone during class, hes too Good

**davidjacobs** : That’s true.

**cowboy.kelly** : lunch is over bitches bye  
  


 

**wittyskitty** to  **cowboy.kelly**

_ 12:04 PM _

**wittyskitty** : did you ask davey out yet?

**cowboy.kelly** : nah im too scared

**wittyskitty** : i get it

**wittyskitty** : you should do it though!!

**cowboy.kelly** : im scared he’ll hate me

**wittyskitty** : do you have any pictures of davey looking at you?

**cowboy.kelly** : yeah, why

**wittyskitty** : just send them

**cowboy.kelly** sent  _ daveynumber24.jpg _

**cowboy.kelly** sent  _ daveynumber46.jpg _

**cowboy.kelly** sent  _ daveynumber107.jpg _

**wittyskitty** : okay he definitely likes you back

**cowboy.kelly** : how do u know?????

**wittyskitty** : look at his eyes 

**wittyskitty** : your pupils dilate when youre looking at someone you love

**cowboy.kelly** : damn okay

**cowboy.kelly** : ill do it tomorrow then

**wittyskitty** : yay!! text me when you do!!

**cowboy.kelly** : im gonna do it over text bc hes an Anxious Boy and would probably die if i did it in person

**wittyskitty** : okay!!! good luck!!!  
  


 

**cowboy.kelly** to  carry on the banana

_ 5:43 PM _

**cowboy.kelly** : hey davey

**davidjacobs** : Yes?

**cowboy.kelly** : u know u dont have to use capital letters and punctuation right

**davidjacobs** : I don’t have to wipe my ass either but it is, like, a preference of mine.

**xballet.boyx** : jESUS

**pokerface** : THATS TAHT VINE HOLY SHIT

**pokerface** sent  _ udonthavetowearmakeup.mov _

**cowboy.kelly** : iM SCREECHIH

**gay.sj** : FUCK

**xballet.boyx** : (can someone tell me what the vine says plz)

**pokerface** : do u not have headphones??

**xballet.boyx** : you see,,,,, im kinda,,,,, mostly,,,,

**xballet.boyx** : deaf

**cowboy.kelly** : wait what

**cowboy.kelly** : like fr

**xballet.boyx** : yeah

**xballet.boyx** : my hearing aids are teeny and nude so you cant see them but

**gay.sj** : what??????? 

**pokerface** : how did we not notice tf???

**davidjacobs** : I did.

**xballet.boyx** : are you serious davey

**davidjacobs** : Yes, I noticed the first time I met you, but I didn’t say anything in case you didn’t want to talk about it.

**xballet.boyx** : aww what an observant boi

**crippled.crouton** : Have you been mostly deaf your whole life??

**xballet.boyx** : yeah, there wasnt any tragic accident, im just Fucked from birth!!

**mush.m** : wait specs you’re hoh??

**xballet.boyx** : yup

**mush.m** : so’s my only accepting aunt!!!!

**xballet.boyx** : thats cool!!

**gay.sj** : do u know/can u teach me asl

**xballet.boyx** : i guess so

**mush.m** : in other news, i told a singular school friend that i have a bf

**kid.blink** : !!

**cowboy.kelly** : howd it go???

**mush.m** : she took it p well, she only knows me as mush so its not a double whammy

**cowboy.kelly** : yay!!!

**mush.m** : i showed her a picture and she was like “oh he’s hot”

**kid.blink** : hell yeah 

**mush.m** : that’s what i said lol

**newsbian** : cute!!!

**xballet.boyx** : hey no one actually told me what that vine says

**pokerface** : sorry dude lol 

**pokerface** : “you dont have to wear makeup!! blubllaublau like… i dont have to wipe my ass, either, but it is like, a preference of mine”

**pokerface** : roughly

**xballet.boyx** : lol thx

**cowboy.kelly** : hey specs have u found any potential suitors yet

**xballet.boyx** : not unless u want to fuck oscar

**cowboy.kelly** : nO thanks lol

**cowboy.kelly** : okay but skits keeps telling me to ask out my crush tho

**pokerface** : JACKIE BOY HAS A CRUSH SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS

**cowboy.kelly** : shut up

**newsbian** : it better not be a lady

**cowboy.kelly** : it is not a lady

**pokerface** : HELL YEAH GO FOR IT

**pokerface** : ASK OUT THAT PERSON

**mush.m** : is it a boy??? (also race that was so trans-inclusive bless)

**pokerface** : (np!!)

**cowboy.kelly** : yes it is a boy

**xballet.boyx** : i have to go to dance but boi!!! ask out that other boi!!!!

**cowboy.kelly** : bye!!!! (maybe i will idk yet)

**davidjacobs** : Go for it!

**cowboy.kelly** : thx guys :’) i think im gonna do it soon  
  
  


**cowboy.kelly** to  **davidjacobs**

_ 4:27 PM _

**cowboy.kelly** : hey 

**cowboy.kelly** : i have a question

**davidjacobs** : Okay?

**cowboy.kelly** : do you

**cowboy.kelly** : are* you free on friday night??

**davidjacobs** : Yes, why?

**davidjacobs** : If you want to come over or hang out, you don’t have to ask.

**cowboy.kelly** : oh my god okay

**cowboy.kelly** : would you, david jacobs, want to go to dinner/a movie/whatever you want with me, jack kelly, on friday night?

**davidjacobs** : Like… as a date?

**cowboy.kelly** : yeah

**cowboy.kelly** : davey??

 

_ 4:53 PM _

**cowboy.kelly** : are u okay??

**cowboy.kelly:** im sorry for asking oh jeez

**cowboy.kelly** : pretend i never said anything

**davidjacobs** : this is sarah, davids freakin out a lil

**cowboy.kelly** : tell him im sorry

**davidjacobs** : no no no omg its a good freak out

**davidjacobs** : its like “beyonces having twins” level Good Freakout

**cowboy.kelly** : oh

**cowboy.kelly** : okay!!!!

**davidjacobs** : i cant believe it took u this long geez smh

**cowboy.kelly** : me too tbh

**davidjacobs** : Sorry about that.

**cowboy.kelly** : its fine!!! thats actually exactly why i didnt ask you in person lmao

**davidjacobs** : I appreciate that. What time were you thinking for Friday?

**cowboy.kelly** : maybe 6 ish??? (also can you tell sarah not to tell kath??)

**davidjacobs** : That sounds great! (Yes I can, though I can’t guarantee she hasn’t already said something.)

**cowboy.kelly** : great!!!

**davidjacobs** : I was a little worried at first because in the group chat you said you had a crush on someone and I thought that I was a second choice, but Sarah caught on faster than I did and explained.

**cowboy.kelly** : omg no lol

**cowboy.kelly** : youll never be a second choice

**davidjacobs** : :’)

**cowboy.kelly** : yOU USED AN EMOJI AHAHHA IM COVERTING YOU

**davidjacobs** : You ruined it, Jack.

**cowboy.kelly** : damn

**cowboy.kelly** : sorry lmao

**davidjacobs** : I have to go finish my homework. I’ll see you tomorrow!

**cowboy.kelly** : u know it!!

**cowboy.kelly** : OH wait do u want to tell the gc or do u want me to

**davidjacobs** : Could I?

**cowboy.kelly** : hell yeah!!!

  
  


**cowboy.kelly** to  **newsbian**

_ 5:02 PM _

**cowboy.kelly** : hello katherine guess what

**newsbian** : oh God what did you do

**cowboy.kelly** : good things

**cowboy.kelly** : i may have just asked davey out

**newsbian** : eXCuse me what 

**cowboy.kelly** : yeah lol

**newsbian** : what did he say?

**cowboy.kelly** : he said yes!! 

**cowboy.kelly** : im so excited i cant wait

**newsbian** : im so excited for you!!!

**cowboy.kelly** : also he used an emoji life is gr8

**newsbian** :  _ the _ Davey Jacobs used an emoji?

**cowboy.kelly** : this one ->  :’)

**newsbian** : what earned you that one?

**cowboy.kelly** : i told him hes never a second choice 

**newsbian** : thats the gayest thing ive ever read  
**cowboy.kelly** : thx boo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for all your kind messages/comments!!!
> 
> next week: herosmellslike.com and a teeny argument
> 
>  
> 
> (also if any of you guys are artists feel free to draw stuff from this!! i would die of happiness probably lol love you!!)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i think most of you will enjoy this chapter

**davidjacobs** to  carry on the banana 

_9:42 AM_

 

**davidjacobs** : Happy Saturday, everyone!

**pokerface** : why are u so cheery what teh hell

**davidjacobs** sent _jackandme <3.jpg _

**davidjacobs** : This is why!

**cowboy.kelly** : wOAH i was not expecting this davey oh my god  (also who took that picture)

**pokerface** : FUCK i shouldve bet on this

**newsbian** : HELL YEAH FINALLY!!!

**crippled.crouton** : Yay!!! Finally!!!

**cowboy.kelly** : youve all been expecting this??? what the fcuk???

**xballet.boyx** : finally lol

**xballet.boyx** : also jack make that ur insta profile pic

**cowboy.kelly** : already done

**davidjacobs** : <3 (Sarah took it from out the window, which is a little weird, but I’m appreciative.)

**cowboy.kelly** : <333  (lit)

**gay.sj** : stop ur not allowed to out-cute me and kath

**gay.sj** : this is illegal

**kingofbrooklyn** : assholes

**newsbian** : is everyone in this group chat not straight

**cowboy.kelly** : lets be real the Straights are a Myth

**pokerface** : tbh,,,,

**cowboy.kelly** : wait spot why are we assholes

**kingofbrooklyn** : bc thats fuckin cute as hell

**xballet.boyx** : ^^^^

**mush.m** : i’m late but congrats guys!!! blink says congrats too, he doesn’t want to get out of bed to get his own phone

**xballet.boyx** : r u guys cuddling rn

**mush.m** : ...yes

**pokerface** : domestic alert!! sound the alarm!! illegal!!! im calling the police!!!

**xballet.boyx** : gross

**kingofbrooklyn** : in other news,,,, the brooklyn bridge is homophobic

**crippled.crouton** : How???

**kingofbrooklyn** : im gay and its inconveniencing me

**mush.m** : does that really count though??

**kingofbrooklyn** : of course it does fuck u

**pokerface** : spotty chill

**kingofbrooklyn** : fuck u too anthony

**pokerface** : oh my god i hate you

**kingofbrooklyn** : good

**cowboy.kelly** : boys please take out ur frustrations tonight and keep the flirting out of the gc

**pokerface** : yeah spot go away

**kingofbrooklyn** : ur lucky i have to drive bye bitches

**newsbian** : gendered insult!!!

**pokerface** : noah fence kath but i dont think he cares

**davidjacobs** : No offense*

**pokerface** : noah fence**

**davidjacobs** : No offense***

**pokerface** : noah fence****

**davidjacobs** : No offense*****

**pokerface** : noah fence****** jack but ur bf is obnoxious

**cowboy.kelly** : shut the fuck up hes adorable

**cowboy.kelly** : noah fence race but ur bf is hella bitchy,,, so

**pokerface** : who the fuck???? i do not????

**davidjacobs** : You’re taking his side in this?

**cowboy.kelly** : its the meme way, davey

**davidjacobs** : I can’t be here right now, so I’m going to leave.

**cowboy.kelly** : babe no im sorry

**gay.sj** : that was the most alec lightwood thing davids ever said lol

**cowboy.kelly** : sarah can u make sure he doesnt hate me plz

**gay.sj** : 1) thats impossible 2) he just gets super passionate about grammar sorry

**pokerface** : if i was that passionate about anything maybe id be dead

**kingofbrooklyn** : if i was that passionate about the things i talk about many many people would be dead

**cowboy.kelly** : sarah tell davey to unlock his window, im coming over

**gay.sj** : as long as u stay quiet

**newsbian** : thats gross, Sarah

**gay.sj** : bite me

**newsbian** : ;)))

**xballet.boyx** : nO FLIRTING IN THE GC

**mush.m** : i second that rule

**gay.sj** : jackie davids window is open

**cowboy.kelly** : thank

**crippled.crouton** : I think its sweet that everyone is finding people!! Sarah and Katherine have each other, Davey and Jack have each other, Mush and Blink have each other, and the rest of us have friends!!

**kingofbrooklyn** : what friends im a fucking lone wolf

**pokerface** : what the fuck am i, chopped liver??

**newsbian** : boys, no fighting

**kingofbrooklyn** : yeah race, go suck a dick

**pokerface** : god damn spot can u chill out for like one second

**kingofbrooklyn** : no

**pokerface** : what the fuck is ur problem spot

**kingofbrooklyn** : i dont know, race, whats my problem?

**pokerface** : is this

**pokerface** : is this about me eating the leftover spaghetti

**pokerface** : oh my _god_ spot

**kingofbrooklyn** : it was my spaghetti u fucker

**pokerface** : my mom can make you more

**pokerface** : you can come to dinner even jesus

**gay.sj** : AHHAHAHAHHA THATS THE MOST DOMESTIC THING EVER

**cowboy.kelly** : g r os s

**davidjacobs** : I’m back from the dead to say that was the most “old married couple” thing I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading.

**cowboy.kelly** : i h*ckin love u davey

**davidjacobs** : You’re literally in my room, there is no need to say that on here.

**pokerface** : davey stop being emo its not u

**gay.sj** : true david this is weird

**newsbian** : im sorry to interrupt but theres a website where you can type in your name and it tells you what you smell like  (also are we going to ignore that Jack said he loved Davey? i feel like that breaches the “no flirting” rule)

**pokerface** : what is it omg

**newsbian** : herosmellslike.com

**cowboy.kelly** : im doing it brb  (no ones purposefully ignoring it but if ur gonna complain,,,,)

**kingofbrooklyn** : apparently i smell like sawdust and clouds wtf kind of gay shit is this

**pokerface** : ferns and courage omg

**davidjacobs** : It says I smell like whipping cream and endurance.

**cowboy.kelly** : “iron and lust” LMAO

**cowboy.kelly** : also dave u do not smell like whipped cream but u do smell gr8

**newsbian** : i smell like rocks and winter  (^^ that had to reach the rules come on guys)

**gay.sj** : gOOSE DOWN AND DAMAGE????????? IM INSULTED

**crippled.crouton** : keys and potential!!  

**cowboy.kelly** : aww thats so cute   (no it didnt kath that was a compliment)

**mush.m** : i apparently smell like whipped cream and fatigue which is actually p accurate

**xballet.boyx** : glue and greed lol im not remotely greedy and never touch glue

**kid.blink** : cinnamon and truth!!!!!

**mush.m** : okay but blink actually does always smell like cinnamon

**crippled.crouton** : Awww!!!

**davidjacobs** : Sarah, I think yours is pretty accurate.

**gay.sj** : fUC YOU DAVID I DONT SMELL LIKE GEESE

**davidjacobs** : Says you.

**cowboy.kelly** : MY BF IS SAVAGE (also brb from me and dave)

**gay.sj** : wait why both of yoU OH

**crippled.crouton** : Bye guys, I have to go to PT!!!

**xballet.boyx** : bye crutchie!! we love u!!

**crippled.crouton** : <3

**kingofbrooklyn** : okay i have to leave rn im boutta open the door and i dont want to get attacked

**xballet.boyx** : attacked???

**kingofbrooklyn** : im helping a friend with her hw and shes got a massive st bernard

**pokerface** : send pics aww

**kingofbrooklyn** sent _myfavoritepup.jpg_

**xballet.boyx** : awwwwwwwwwwwww whatta good doggo

**gay.sj** : what a Good  

**gay.sj** : (also newsflash jack and david have been dating for like 2 days and are making out in the next room and if that doesnt make u rethink everything uve ever said/thought about david idk what will)

  
**xballet.boyx** : tMI SARAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually did type the squads names into herosmellslike.com
> 
> !! guys!!! this fic has almost 1k hits!!! thats crazy!!! thank you!!!
> 
> next week: very very gay yikes


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of things happen including davey's beautiful voice and race is needy af

**cowboy.kelly** to  carry on the banana

_ 9:34 PM _

 

**cowboy.kelly** : GUYS GUYS GUSY GUYS

**pokerface** : what what what what

**cowboy.kelly** : THERE WAS A TALENT SHOW THING AND

**cowboy.kelly** sent  _ daveygoodthing.mov _

**cowboy.kelly** : FUCK GUYS

**cowboy.kelly** : THE RIFF JESUS CHRIST

**pokerface** : oh lord

**crippled.crouton** : Wow, thats beautiful!!!

**kingofbrooklyn** : holy fuck

**cowboy.kelly** : IM IN LOVE 

**gay.sj** : hes been practicing that for like a month and he very rarely belts at home but when he does its absolutely beautiful

**newsbian** : holy shit Davey

**gay.sj** : (he also sings love on top super slowly and riffy its amazing)

**crippled.crouton** : Ive heard Davey sing Halo before!!! Its absolutely beautiful!!!

**davidjacobs** : Thanks guys!

**cowboy.kelly** : davey you beautiful being who did u kill for that voice

**pokerface** : ^^

**davidjacobs** : My social life died for these pipes.

**gay.sj** : AHAHHAHAHHAHA

**mush.m** : davey jacobs?? did you mean,,,, god??

**kingofbrooklyn** : if i had to kill my social life for pipes like yours id do it

**kid.blink** : rt

**crippled.crouton** : I would too

**pokerface** : i would if it didnt mean giving up poker

**cowboy.kelly** : youd have to give up poker

**pokerface** :  _ fuck _

**davidjacobs** : I guess you’re stuck with average pipes forever!

**pokerface** : damn

**cowboy.kelly** : my bf is  s a v a g e

**newsbian** : yes he is dang

**davidjacobs** : Okay, enough about me, who wants to hear Jack sing Sam Smith?

**xballet.boyx** : mE WHAT

**crippled.crouton** : Me!!!!

**mush.m** : i do!!

**davidjacobs** sent  _ jacksivetoldyounow.mov _

**cowboy.kelly** : oh god

**gay.sj** : wOAH GLORIOUS

**newsbian** : Jack you can belt???

**cowboy.kelly** : i guess??

**mush.m** : see, jack and dave would be bways power couple

**gay.sj** : rt rt rt

**crippled.crouton** : Yes!!!

**mush.m** : persue your bway dreams!!! be bways new power couple!! also ily both and your beautiful voices!!

**cowboy.kelly** : ,,, im goin to art school but thx guys

**davidjacobs** : Well, I’m going to Broadway without you, then.

**cowboy.kelly** : no ill do the costume/set design for your shows (read as: plz dont leave me i couldnt live without ur voice)

**davidjacobs** : <3

**cowboy.kelly** : <3

**newsbian** : gross

 

**pokerface** to  **kingofbrooklyn**

_ 4:16 PM _

**pokerface** : spottttttt

**kingofbrooklyn** : what do you want

**pokerface** : come overrr

**kingofbrooklyn** : i cant im busy

**pokerface** : with what

**kingofbrooklyn** : work

**pokerface** : my parents arent home 

**kingofbrooklyn** : anthony higgins

**kingofbrooklyn** : i cannot leave work just because youre horny

**kingofbrooklyn** : i get off in 45 minutes, ill come over then

**pokerface** : fine >:((

**kingofbrooklyn** : i hate you

**pokerface** : thats not what u said yesterday

**kingofbrooklyn** : i was lying

**pokerface** : can this be how we tell the gc

**kingofbrooklyn** : the “come over” “i cant” “my parents arent home” meme????

**pokerface** : yes

**pokerface** : please

**kingofbrooklyn** : its so old tho

**pokerface** : pleaseeeeeeee

**pokerface** : spotttttttttttttt

**kingofbrooklyn** : fine

**pokerface** : today?????

**kingofbrooklyn** : later

**pokerface** : !!

**kingofbrooklyn** : bye race

  
  


**pokerface** to  carry on the banana

_ 5:03 PM _

**pokerface** : spottt

**pokerface** : come overrr

**kingofbrooklyn** : im still at work race 

**pokerface** : my parents arent home ;)))))

**gay.sj** : ,, omg

**kingofbrooklyn** :  _ n y o o m _

**kid.blink** : Y E S

**davidjacobs** : No way.

**crippled.crouton** : Aww yay!!

**cowboy.kelly** : MUSH YOU OWE ME 10 DOLLARS

**mush.m** : i’ll venmo you

**mush.m** : also when did this happen i need to know right now

**kid.blink** : I WAS WONDERING WHEN THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN 

**kid.blink** : NOW RACE CAN STOP MESSAGING ME ABOUT SPOTTY BOY

**pokerface** : sshhhh blink (also i will not stop ur stuck with me ho)

**newsbian** : Jack do i owe you money?

**gay.sj** : you bet on this too????

**cowboy.kelly** : ye you only owe me 5 tho

**newsbian** : ok i’ll pay you next time i see you

**newsbian** : of course i bet on this, Sarah, it was so painfully obvious

**pokerface** : im so happy everyone bet on this :’)) im like a proud dad

**kingofbrooklyn** : im not 

**kingofbrooklyn** : also race im outside ur door

**pokerface** : okay bye guys ;))

**cowboy.kelly** : G R O S S

**davidjacobs** : Am I the only one who didn’t make any bets?

**crippled.crouton** : I didnt, Davey!!

**gay.sj** : everyone else did lol

**newsbian** : how long has this been going on??

**xballet.boyx** : ^^

_ 5:26 PM _

**kingofbrooklyn** : weve only been “together” for like,,,, 2 months???

**kingofbrooklyn** : race is yelling that its 3 months excuse me

**newsbian** : thats still way longer than it should be, seeing as you  _ just _ told us.

**cowboy.kelly** : SAVAGE

**pokerface** : yall didnt ask, so we didnt tell

**mush.m** : i’m calling bullshit!!!!

**mush.m** : i asked race like 3 weeks ago if they were dating yet!!!!!

**gay.sj** : RACE U FUCKER

**kingofbrooklyn** : yeah he is ;))))

**cowboy.kelly** : GET OUTTA HERE WITH THAT GAY SHIT NOPE

**pokerface** : ;))))))

**newsbian** : NO PLEASE

**xballet.boyx** : honestly if this is what we have to put up with now i wish u hadnt told us

**pokerface** : shut up

**gay.sj** : rt

**mush.m** : are the rest of us gonna have to be extra gay to even out the love?

**pokerface** : of course yes

**xballet.boyx** : nnO

**crippled.crouton** : Maybe Spot and Race should calm down with the love so the small portion of us that arent in relationships dont feel weird???

**xballet.boyx** : pREACH YOU BEAUT

**newsbian** : that is actually a good point, Crutchie

**cowboy.kelly** : i still support the “everyone else be extra ghay” but

**pokerface** : ghay

**cowboy.kelly** : im so,,,,,, embarrassed 

**kingofbrooklyn** : good you should be

**gay.sj** : leave my brothers boyfriend alone u assholes

**cowboy.kelly** : my beautiful knight(ess??) in shining armor,, may u be blessed by a thousand fairies for coming to my rescue

**cowboy.kelly** : (read as “sarah i love u, ur the only one who stands up for me”)

**gay.sj** : np ex bf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the videos that were sent to the group are here:  
> https://youtu.be/FKJ8Mcp4IqI  
> https://youtu.be/0wVpd-CgSLI
> 
> also this chapter was all over the place sorry
> 
> next week: spot Does A Thing and theres discourse
> 
> also i posted a tiny tiny sprace thing a few days ago if yall are desperate for new things theres that


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spot did a thing oops  
> also, discourse!

**kingofbrooklyn** to  carry on the banana 

_7:57 PM_

**kingofbrooklyn** : guess whos very bruised and bloody

 **crippled.crouton** : Are you okay??????

 **pokerface** : spot oh my god what did you do

 **cowboy.kelly** : do you need help do we need to call the cops

 **pokerface** : do i have to call child services

 **kingofbrooklyn** : its not me guys chill

 **pokerface** : im sorry what

 **xballet.boyx** : what happened/what did you do

 **kingofbrooklyn** : i have avenged the honor of three of our group

 **davidjacobs** : Are you okay though?

 **kingofbrooklyn** : yeah ive got a tiny bruise on my leg but you should see the other guy

 **pokerface** : spot who did you beat up

 **xballet.boyx** : because of the “avenged the honor” im gonna take a wild guess and say that you finally ran into oscar

 **kingofbrooklyn** : bingo

 **pokerface** : oh my god i cant believe you actually ran over oscar

 **kid.blink** : im sorry wHAT

 **pokerface** : (joke)

 **kid.blink** : wait is this the oscar thats a super creep

 **kingofbrooklyn** : the one and only

 **kid.blink** : nice job dude

 **xballet.boyx** : i could honestly kiss you #blessed

 **pokerface** : no no back off hes mine

 **kingofbrooklyn** : sorry specs

 **xballet.boyx** : im not gonna fam im aro as f

 **cowboy.kelly** : wait really

 **crippled.crouton** : I didnt know that!!

 **xballet.boyx** : yeah this has been a thing???? for a while???

 **kid.blink** : hey thats cool

 **davidjacobs** : Okay, Spot, you beat Oscar up? Did he say anything to you?

 **kingofbrooklyn** : yeah i told him hes an asshole and he said “says who”

 **kingofbrooklyn** : and then he was like “i dont even know you, what do you want

 **kingofbrooklyn** : and then i punched him and it escalated from there

 **kingofbrooklyn** : and then when i was done i kicked him in the thigh and said “thats for tony and specs and davey, asshole”

 **kingofbrooklyn** : and then i left

 **pokerface** : my knight in shining armor

 **xballet.boyx** : im beyond impressed spot youre a god

 **davidjacobs** : Honestly, you’re a blessing for us all.

 **pokerface** : “need an assholes ass beat? spotty boy is here to help!”

 **cowboy.kelly** : make it a business

 **mush.m** : wait i’m sorry, who’s tony???

 **pokerface** : me lol my names anthony

 **mush.m** : oh

 **cowboy.kelly** : how shit did oscar look

 **pokerface** : hold on i follow morris’s finsta theres probs a picture

 **kingofbrooklyn** : how do u follow morris’s finsta doesnt he have u blocked

 **pokerface** : mines essentially a catfish account for money so no

 **davidjacobs** : Is there a picture?

 **pokerface** sent _lolololhelooksawful.jpg_

 **pokerface** : AHAHAHAHAHA

 **cowboy.kelly** : is that a steak oh my god

 **kingofbrooklyn** : he wasnt very good at fighting tbh

 **kingofbrooklyn** : he just kinda,,, put his arms over his face and curled up

 **pokerface** : what a fuckin wimp

 **cowboy.kelly** : yeah lol

 **xballet.boyx** : what was the caption omg

 **pokerface** : “oscar got his ass handed to him on a silver platter lol who did this”

 **cowboy.kelly** : please comment that it was your boyfriend

 **pokerface** : hold on let me make another account so i can still follow him if he blocks me

 **xballet.boyx** : Dedicated Stalking™

 **pokerface** : okay i am commenting now

 **kingofbrooklyn** : i hope he tells u that oscar deserved it

 **pokerface** : morris responded lmao he asked why

 **pokerface** : i told him oscars harassing underage boys for sex

 **cowboy.kelly** : SPOT AND RACE ARE THE TRUE HEROS OF OUR GENERATION

 **davidjacobs** : I’m sort of worried to see what Morris says.

 **pokerface** : he just dmed me guys omg he asked if i was serious

 **xballet.boyx** : tell him yes and send him screenshots

 **pokerface** : i did

 **pokerface** : he just thanked me for telling him and asked who i was actually

 **pokerface** : should i tell him

 **kingofbrooklyn** : no

 **pokerface** : k he says hes gonna go kill oscar so life is good

 **cowboy.kelly** to carry on the banana

 

_10:07 AM_

**cowboy.kelly** : hey davey!! hows the prettiest boy in the world doing this fine morning?

 **davidjacobs** : I don’t know, how are you?

 **mush.m** : (,, omg)

 **cowboy.kelly** : im fINe

 **cowboy.kelly** : oh my god

 **gay.sj** : (im screeching i love u david)

 **pokerface** : (death)

 **crippled.crouton** : (This is too cute!!!)

 **cowboy.kelly** : im love

 **gay.sj** : (but also gross gross gross)

 **cowboy.kelly** : davey jacobs

 **cowboy.kelly** : i am in love with you

 **davidjacobs** : Jack Kelly.

 **davidjacobs** : I am also in love with you.

 **kingofbrooklyn** : didnt we say no flirting

 **cowboy.kelly** : this isnt flirting this is declarations of love

 **pokerface** : leave them alone spotty boy theyre in love

 **newsbian** : ahh, young love (p.s. you two are the cutest)

 **cowboy.kelly** : (thx kath)

 **davidjacobs** : It’s appreciated, Kath.

 **kingofbrooklyn** : im still calling it flirting and its gross, stop

 **davidjacobs** : On a different topic, does anyone else here like Cats?

 **newsbian** : like the musical?

 **davidjacobs** : Yes.

 **gay.sj** : what do u mean “anyone else”

 **gay.sj** : FUCK my brother likes cats

 **pokerface** : Cursed Show

 **cowboy.kelly** : i appreciate the songs but theres no fucking story nd its dumb

 **xballet.boyx** : davey i really like cats but i agree with jack, theres no storyline

 **kingofbrooklyn** : ... i dont mind it???

 **mush.m** : oh my god i fucking hate cats

 **xballet.boyx** : mUSh chill

 **newsbian** : honestly i couldnt care less about it, Davey

 **gay.sj** : HELL YEAH MUSH THANKS

 **davidjacobs** : I understand that the storyline is a little weird, but how can you hate it? The choreography is gorgeous, and the songs are amazing!

 **mush.m** : it’s alw’s worst show, davey

 **gay.s** j: RT RT

 **kid.blink** : personally i dont care but you got mush heated which is hella rare yikes

 **mush.m** : it makes no sense. they’re fucking _cats_ singing about _being cats_ which is dumb on its own but then you add “memory” and it’s just a fucking tragedy.

 **cowboy.kelly** : everyone get off this chat and breathe, its just a musical

 **gay.sj** : MUSH IS MY FAVORITE PERSON HERE BYE

 **xballet.boyx** : everyone go take a breather omg

 **mush.m** : i’m not even sorry, cats is the only thing that i hate as much as texas

 **crippled.crouton** : I dont think Cats is that bad?????

 **cowboy.kelly** : thank you crutchie

 **crippled.crouton** : Ive only heard the songs, but I dont hate it!! The songs themselves are pretty good!!  
**xballet.boyx** : everyone just  g o  a w a y  thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG PSA!!!!!
> 
> sadly, there will not be a chapter next week. im going to disney and will be coming home on thursday, and i need to give myself some time to catch up on writing. thank you all for all the kind comments!!!
> 
> also, if yall want to write fics about things that are mentioned but not detailed, please do!! (especially if theyre mush/blink things, theres not enough blush anywhere) i love hearing that this fic means something to people!!!
> 
> sorry about next week, guys!!! <3
> 
> also credit to my boy alec for the "hows the prettiest boy in the world"


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we learn 2 more things about spotty boy, one about sarah, and dave finds his new favorite musical

**kingofbrooklyn** to  carry on the banana

_ 4:48 PM _

**kingofbrooklyn** : hey what color do you guys associate me with

**cowboy.kelly** : wtf do u mean

**gay.sj** : what

**kingofbrooklyn** : do you guys not do that

**cowboy.kelly** : no???

**kingofbrooklyn** : yikes i have a list of colors i associate people with and their exact rgb number

**xballet.boyx** : i wanna know what mine is plz

**pokerface** : me too also isnt there a name for that

**kingofbrooklyn** : idk ive never looked it up

**kingofbrooklyn** : specs youre yellow #FCFC34 and race is gray #20243A

**pokerface** : apparently its a case of chromatic-lexical synaesthesia but theres no real word for it

**xballet.boyx** : thats such a nice color thanks spot omg

**kingofbrooklyn** : i thought this was a thing everyone did yikes

**pokerface** : spot,,,, my color is the color of your favorite shirt???? whats up with that???

**kingofbrooklyn** : shut the fuck up 

**cowboy.kelly** : thats so cute wow also whats my color 

**gay.sj** : i wanna know mineee

**kingofbrooklyn** : jack is red #DF151C and sarah is blue #DAF2F0

**pokerface** : wait spot your favorite shirt was the one you stole from me

**gay.sj** : awww

**pokerface** : i bought that shirt  _ after _ we met

**kingofbrooklyn** : and your point is

**pokerface** : you stole that shirt bc it was the same color that you associate with me

**gay.sj** : awWWWWW

**cowboy.kelly** : thats such a nice red wtf

**kingofbrooklyn** : you cant prove anything

**crippled.crouton** : Whats my color???

**newsbian** : ^^

**davidjacobs** : ^^^

**kingofbrooklyn** : crutchie is blue green #A1FCB3, kath is red purple #C41D3F, davey is blue #5AB6EA

**mush.m** : what about you?? do you associate yourself with a color??

**davidjacobs** : That’s a really nice blue, Spot!

**kingofbrooklyn** : yeah actually mush i do lol its a super dark red #D21913

**crippled.crouton** : I would associate that color with you too, Spot!!!

**newsbian** : me and Sarahs colors compliment each others so well omg

**cowboy.kelly** : its fate

**kingofbrooklyn** : so do jack and daves

**cowboy.kelly** : awwww

**kid.blink** : do u have colors for me and mush?

**kingofbrooklyn** : yeah but theyre more like temporary colors bc ive never met yall in person

**kingofbrooklyn** : mush is green #6C976C and blink is brown #A6803D

**mush.m** : aww thanks spot!! thats such a nice color!!! 

**kingofbrooklyn** : nice im glad everyone approves

**cowboy.kelly** : this is so cool spot tbh i wish i could do that

**gay.sj** : who wants to hear a fun fact i just remembered about yours truly

**cowboy.kelly** : yes

**mush.m** : !!

**gay.sj** : when i was like,,, 8 i thought bf stood for best friend so i nearly bought bf/gf bracelets for my best friend

**pokerface** : tf did u think gf stood for

**gay.sj** : idk i dont think i gave it any thought

**newsbian** : oh my god my girlfriend is adorable

**cowboy.kelly** : thats amazing wtf

**davidjacobs** : Why am I just hearing about this now?

**gay.sj** : bc u were 7 and didnt go shopping with me and mom bc u were in fucking  _ narnia _ but u didnt know u were

**davidjacobs** : Touché.

**cowboy.kelly** : man the jacobss are my favorites

**crippled.crouton** : Sarah I can relate to that, I nearly did the same thing in 5th grade!!!

**pokerface** : awwwwwww

**mush.m** : even when he’s telling us things that would be super embarrassing for anyone else, he’s still super positive!!! crutchie you’re a godsend!!!

**crippled.crouton** : Aww thank you Mush!!

**cowboy.kelly** : i agree 100% crutchie is a beautiful soul

**gay.sj** : rt rt

_ 5:32 PM _

**kingofbrooklyn** : hey should i post a transformation tuesday

**cowboy.kelly** : hell yeah get that validation

**xballet.boyx** : i wanna see cringey elementary/middle school spot yes

**gay.sj** : me too do it

**kingofbrooklyn** : lit okay

**gay.sj** : send itttt

**kingofbrooklyn** sent  _ 5thgrademe.jpg _

**kingofbrooklyn** : vs

**kingofbrooklyn** sent  _ lookatthatjawline.jpg _

**pokerface** : thats my BOYFRIEND HELL YAEH

**mush.m** : !! fellow ftm!!! you look so handsome what is your secret!!!

**gay.sj** : hell spot thats a serious glowup

**kingofbrooklyn** : @ mush my secret is 5 years on t and a v supportive mother

**cowboy.kelly** : woah heck me up spotty boy

**mush.m** : i’m so glad!! wow 5 years is a long time!!! i want to start t but sadly texas/my family kinda sucks with that shit!!!

**kingofbrooklyn** : start a gofundme!! thats what my mom did lol, my family gets super passionate about the happiness/success of their children

**mush.m** : once i get out of tx i’ll do that

**mush.m** : i don’t want to risk my family finding the page

**kingofbrooklyn** : if u need any kind of help ever i know how to kill a man and leave no evidence

**kingofbrooklyn** : also my home is always open if anyone needs it

**mush.m** : murder will not be necessary but thank you!!! the sentiment is appreciated!!!

**xballet.boyx** : we love you mush!!!

**davidjacobs** : Quick question, should I listen to Pippin? A few people have recommended it to me, but I don’t know if I’d like it.

**xballet.boyx** : dO YOU LIKE WICKED???? 

**davidjacobs** : Yes! It was my first Broadway show!

**xballet.boyx** : tHEN YES 

**xballet.boyx** : ASLO ITS FOSSE SO

**davidjacobs** : Should I just listen to the soundtrack? I’ve heard the first two songs but that’s it.

**xballet.boyx** : NO ILL SEND U THE BOOT AHHH JUST WATCH THE BOOTLEG ITS SO FUCKIN GOOD I

**xballet.boyx** : I SAW IT ON TOUR AND ON BWAY IT WAS AMAZING

**davidjacobs** : Okay! I’m excited!

**mush.m** : pippin is such a great show!!

**mush.m** : it’s a less good stephen schwartz show but it’s still incredible!! the choreo is absolutely gorgeous!!

**xballet.boyx** : im gonna teach myself the manson trio choreo who wants to join

**mush.m** : me too!! im not a dancer at all but !!

**cowboy.kelly** : @ davey ur gonna love it also,,,, if u do love it like i think u will,,,, (also @ specs and all the theatre kiddos) auditions for pippin are in a month at medda’s theatre

**xballet.boyx** : whAT EXCUSE

**xballet.boyx** : IM AUDITIONING HECK YEAH

**cowboy.kelly** : i think dave would be an incredible pippin and spot would be a gr8 lewis

**mush.m** : yes!!! davey would be amazing!!!

**kingofbrooklyn** : woah wait which ones lewis

**cowboy.kelly** : pips step bro 

**kingofbrooklyn** : heck im down

**kingofbrooklyn** : wait isnt he in love with his mom

**xballet.boyx** :  _ no _ hes  _ not _ its just the  _ choreo _

**cowboy.kelly** : yes he is specs dont defend him

**newsbian** : im auditioning for Catherine so if Davey gets Pip, then we get to be love interests!!

**davidjacobs** : Okay, I’m about 10 minutes in and I love it already, so I’m probably going to audition! Pippin has definitely made the dream role list!

**mush.m** : i can’t wait for him to get to the end of ‘with you’

**cowboy.kelly** : me lmao

**cowboy.kelly** : dave if you get cast as pippin im gonna have to leave the theatre for ‘with you’ i cant see that 

**xballet.boyx** : ;)))

_ 7:03 PM _

**davidjacobs** : I finished act one.

**davidjacobs** : I’m still okay with being cast as Pippin.

**xballet.boyx** : HELL YEHA

**kid.blink** : thats appropriation

**kid.blink** : the word “yeha” has a deep rooted history in texas and im offended   
**xballet.boyx** : mE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funny story,,, i have the same thing i hc spot having (synaesthesia) and all their colors are the ones i associate them with
> 
> i used to think bf stood for best friend also yikes yikes
> 
> also i wrote this when i had just gotten v into pippin and i love it and dave would be a great pippin lmao (and if you dont know what the end of "with you" is, i would suggest watching it on youtube, its a fun time)
> 
> one more thing!! a lovely bean (bentylershook on tumblr) drew racetrack based on this fic and i could not be happier!! go check it out!!!
> 
>  
> 
> next week: a very davey-centric chapter; lots of screaming


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dont remember what happens in this chapter sorry

**davidjacobs** to  carry on the banana 

_12:36 PM_

**davidjacobs** : Hello all, I am currently at an art expo. Jack is here. He does not have his phone. He is in a suit. I’m dying.

**davidjacobs** : He looks so good. I’m so not having this at all.

**davidjacobs** : This is ridiculous.

**pokerface** : are you okay dave

**davidjacobs** : No. Not at all. I’m sitting on a bench across the room. He's talking to an official-looking guy. He’s smiling and I’m about to spontaneously combust.

**pokerface** : kid breathe omg

**davidjacobs** : Race. I cannot breathe. My boyfriend is in a suit. He’s very happy. I’m about to jump off a _damn cliff_.

**pokerface** : i mean i feel ur pain spots super fuckin hot but calm tf down

**davidjacobs** : I  c a n ‘ t , Race.

**crippled.crouton** : That stinks, Davey :((

**davidjacobs** : Yes, it does. I can’t go over there and kiss the living daylights out of him. There’s a point where it becomes physically painful to stay sitting here, and I’m gonna reach that point soon.

**newsbian** : i feel your pain Davey, dating ethereal beings is hard

**davidjacobs** : I have to agree with you there.

**davidjacobs** sent _excusemejack.jpg_

**davidjacobs** : _Look at him._

**newsbian** : damn

**pokerface** : aw man i see what u mean

**davidjacobs** : I swear to the good Lord above if I have to sit here and stare at my boyfriend for more than a half hour I’m going to kidnap him.

**pokerface** : kinky

**crippled.crouton** : Race!!

**pokerface:** dude come on

**xballet.boyx** : hi i agree jacks hot in a suit and i approve of the kidnapping plan davey my boy go ahead okay bye

**davidjacobs** : Thanks, Specs.

**pokerface** : listen,,, maybe dont kidnap him but if hes alone go over and ask if you can talk somewhere else

**pokerface** : like a closet

**davidjacobs** : That would be the only acceptable time to be in the closet, so maybe.

**newsbian** : true

**pokerface** : davey please calm down

**davidjacobs** : No.

**kingofbrooklyn** : im just poppin in to say @ race: right back at you bud and @ davey: i also approve of kidnapping jackie boy

**pokerface** : spot thats a lie stfu

**davidjacobs** : Can someone _please_ help me?

**newsbian** : we’re trying, Davey

**kingofbrooklyn** : also all this yelling about ur bf is so Not Davey im concerned

**davidjacobs** : It’s only been 6 minutes but I’m gonna go walk around so I’m not just _staring_ at Jack.

**pokerface** : i cant believe daves using italics i

**davidjacobs** : This is _important_ , Racetrack, of course I’m using italics.

**pokerface** : okay kath is davey being super extra or is it just me

**newsbian** : yeah, he’s being extra

**davidjacobs** sent _lookatthatsmile.mov_

**davidjacobs** : I’m so gay.

**pokerface** : dave if you dont go kiss him right now and put us out of our misery im gonna show up and shove you both in a closet

**davidjacobs** : I love my boyfriend _so much_.

**pokerface** : lol cant relate

**kingofbrooklyn** : b i t c h

**kingofbrooklyn** : i cant relate either dave i hate my boyfriend

**newsbian** : i cant relate because i dont have a boyfriend but i love Sarah so

**davidjacobs** : Can we focus on me and my problems please?

**pokerface** : g o  k i s s  h i m  oh my god

**davidjacobs** : I can’t, Race, he’s talking to someone else now, who looks even more official.

**davidjacobs** : Oh God.

**davidjacobs** : He just looked over here and winked. I just actually melted through this bench.

**newsbian** : okay this is like if in an alternate universe we’re Daves only friends and he sees a cute boy (aka Jack) across the room and yells at us about him

**pokerface** : stop that im gonna have a crisis

**davidjacobs** : The official person left, I’m going to attempt to kiss him.

**pokerface** : good luck

**newsbian** : this is so funny

**xballet.boyx** : wow i cant believe davey is a thirsty hoe

**kingofbrooklyn** : i cant believe davey is race about me

**pokerface** : ex Ccu SE

**davidjacobs** : Shit.

**pokerface** : wOAH DAVE CHILL

**davidjacobs** : I was about to talk to him and then someone else came up to him. I’m now back on the bench and seething.

**kingofbrooklyn** : dont use such big words dude race cant understand them

**pokerface** : SPOT WHY

**pokerface** : THIS IS CYBERBULLYING

**davidjacobs** : By definition, yes, it is.

**davidjacobs** : I might actually kidnap Jack at this point.

**xballet.boyx** : do it

**mush.m** : wow i missed a lot

**mush.m:** all of this is so me though yikes

**davidjacobs** : It’s almost over anyways, and he’s driving me home, so that’s good.

**xballet.boyx** : i think this is the most daves ever sent to this gc

**pokerface** : definitely

**gay.sj** : hi im poppin in quickly to say YO DAVID JUST KISS HIM bye

**newsbian** : ^^^

**pokerface** : rt sarah

**davidjacobs** : It’s over, Jack’s coming over here, I’ll be back later.

**pokerface** : GET IT DAVE

_2:16 PM_

**cowboy.kelly** : hi i love my boyfriend hes the absolute sweetest <333

**cowboy.kelly** : also hes a really good kisser BYE

**pokerface** : GROSS

**cowboy.kelly** sent _ilovehimsomuch.jpg_

**cowboy.kelly** : dammit that was supposed to go to skits

**cowboy.kelly** : whoops

**davidjacobs** : Oh my God, Jack, I hate you.

**gay.sj** : is that,,,,,, posed

**cowboy.kelly** : no lol dave didnt know

**cowboy.kelly** : he was a little preoccupied ;))

**gay.sj** : EW

**cowboy.kelly** : goodbye from Davey, I’m stealing Jack’s phone so he can’t do that again.

**pokerface** : i am,,,, disgusted

**mush.m** : goals!! (also is jack’s shirt,, unbuttoned??)

**newsbian** : oH GOD

**gay.sj** : DAVID GET YOUR ASS HOME RIGHT NOW 

**gay.sj** : I HOPE YOUR PHONE ISNT MUTED AND IM KILLING THE MOOD   
  
**gay.sj** : IM TELLING MOM

**gay.sj** sent _momsmad.mov_

**gay.sj** : IM SORRY DAVID

**gay.sj** : transcription for specs and others: “mom, jacks driving david home” “okay!” “i dont know if hes planning on coming home soon” *my mom drops a pan on the floor* “sarah anne jacobs, get me my phone right now.”

**pokerface** : THE PAN DROP LMFAO

**cowboy.kelly** : thanks a lot sarah

**cowboy.kelly** : u bitch

**cowboy.kelly** : okay while dave’s mom is screaming at him over the phone, i have news

**cowboy.kelly** : i may or may not be going to santa fe for college??

**pokerface** : no you are not jackie boy i refuse to let you leave new york

**mush.m** : why would you go to new mexico?? that’s south _and_ west?? they both suck individually, putting them together is a very bad idea

**cowboy.kelly** : because i was told i could get a full ride and god knows i need it

**mush.m** : well if you go you have to visit me a lot!!!

**cowboy.kelly** : lol dave just pulled the “i have never done anything wrong in my life” card and i heard sarah say “lying is a sin, david” lololol

**xballet.boyx** : SAVAGE lol

**cowboy.kelly** : i have to drive now bye guys also dave has never done anything wrong in his life and i love him  
**davidjacobs** : <33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahahhahahhaha
> 
> thank you guys for all your nice messages!!!!! i love you all!!! 
> 
> next week: baseball and other things


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> many things happen also i finished writing this 5 minutes ago

**gay.sj** to  carry on the banana

_ 1:14 PM _

**gay.sj** : hey gays you should all come to les’s baseball game at 1:30!!! he hasnt met yall yet and we talk about you so often and hes getting antsy also just cheer him on please

**gay.sj** : obviously excluding blink and mush sorry guys

**kingofbrooklyn** : i wanna meet mini jacobs ill be there (where)

**gay.sj** : central park 

**cowboy.kelly** : is dave gonna be there

**gay.sj** : yes

**cowboy.kelly** : on my way

**kingofbrooklyn** : im bringing race too

**xballet.boyx** : im actually in central park right now with romeo and itey!!! can i bring them along??

**gay.sj** : of course!!! 

**crippled.crouton** : I wish I could come :(( I have PT but keep me updated!!

**newsbian** : i cant come but i have a question for everyone

**newsbian** : should i apply for the head of newspaper?

**pokerface** : yes bih do it

**crippled.crouton** : Of course!! Youd be amazing!!

**newsbian** : aww Crutchie, youre so nice!!!

**gay.sj** : as long as you dont write articles like you text id say go for it babe!!!

**davidjacobs** : Go for it, Kath! You’d be great!

**cowboy.kelly** : hey does anyone know why its “he was hanged” and not “he was hung”

**cowboy.kelly** : bc its pissing me tf off

**davidjacobs** : Grammar, that’s why.

**kingofbrooklyn** : bc “he was hung” has a very different connotation ;)))

**cowboy.kelly** : oh my god stop

**crippled.crouton** : >:(( 

**xballet.boyx** : me too crutchie

**xballet.boyx** : also: storytime

**xballet.boyx** : so i went to party last night and youll never guess who i saw there

**xballet.boyx** : mr spot d conlon

**kingofbrooklyn** : bye im not here

**cowboy.kelly** : why was spotty boy at a party wtf

**xballet.boyx** : that was my reaction but listen hear me out

**xballet.boyx** : so we all got at least a lil tipsy and we all know spot is much chiller when hes tipsy

**xballet.boyx** : somehow we ended up playing truth or dare??? idk how it happened but

**xballet.boyx** : it got around to spot and he said truth and someone asked him what his opinion of “anthony higgins” was

**pokerface** : oh god no

**xballet.boyx** : keep in mind none of these people know that spot is even sort of friends with race

**xballet.boyx** : so they asked him and he put his drink down and stared at me for a solid 10 seconds before picking his drink back up and saying “i would die for him” and downe d hte whole fucking bottle and they were all sitting ther e like “?? what the fiuck just happened???????” and there was no othe r explanation and i lost it lmao

**cowboy.kelly** : AWWWWWW   


**pokerface** : oh my god

**pokerface** : spot,,,

**kingofbrooklyn** : what

**pokerface** : you would die for me?

**kingofbrooklyn** : i mean,,,,, yeah

**kingofbrooklyn** : if that situation ever came up where one of us had to die

**kingofbrooklyn** : then

**pokerface** : okay sarah we might be a little late for les’s game

**gay.sj** : dude thats fine id need some time if someone said theyd die for me around borderline  _ strangers _

**pokerface** : thx my dude

**gay.sj** : guys the game has started!! les is fielding rn, hes in the outfield!!

**newsbian** : cheer him on for me!!

**kingofbrooklyn** : were on our way, be there soon

**mush.m** : tell les he’s doing great!!

**mush.m** : also me and blink are eating cotton candy while avoiding our responsibilities 

**crippled.crouton** : What kind of responsibilities??

**kid.blink** : homework

**mush.m** : and home

**kid.blink** : and work

**pokerface** : me af wtf

**crippled.crouton** : Make sure you do your homework at some point though!!! Thats important!!

**mush.m** : thanks crutchie!! you’re such a kind soul :’)

**cowboy.kelly** : what color cotton candy is it

**kid.blink** : blue because we’re  m e n

**mush.m** : and because blue is the only good flavor

**cowboy.kelly** : thanks thats true

**kingofbrooklyn** : the color blue is gay

**mush.m** : ?????

**kingofbrooklyn** : its daveys color, therefore, its a gay color

**kid.blink** : touche

**mush.m** : i have a question!!!

**kingofbrooklyn** : what is your question young padawan

**mush.m** : now i have 2 questions??? 1) why do my grandparents never stop preaching to me about jesus??

**pokerface** : because they were born in the time where they had a bunch of spirituality and chickens

**davidjacobs** : Chickens and homophobia.

**kid.blink** : DAVEY

**mush.m** : i mean you're not wrong my grandparents hate The Gays And Their Normal Human Rights, Like Marriage Or Living

**cowboy.kelly** : same bye

**pokerface** : whats the second question

**mush.m** : what’s a padawan??

**cowboy.kelly** : are you serious mush

**mush.m** : yes??

**kid.blink** : michael meyers i cant be with you anymore

**mush.m** : babe no

**cowboy.kelly** : what the fuck mush????

**cowboy.kelly** : even davey knows what a padawan is??

**newsbian** : Mush, have you ever seen Star Wars?

**mush.m** : no i havent my parents hate it

**mush.m** : does padawan have something to do with star wars????

**cowboy.kelly** : wait mush ur first name is michael?????

**mush.m** : yeah

**kid.blink** : @ jack yeah isnt it fucking amazing

**cowboy.kelly** : your name is michael meyers??? like the guy in friday the 13th????

**mush.m** : yeah

**cowboy.kelly** : fuck man thats amazing

**gay.sj** : LES JUST HIT A HOME RUN??????

**newsbian** : tell Les im super proud of him!!!!

**crippled.crouton** : Me too!!

**kid.blink** : okay mush were watching star wars for our next date

**mush.m** : yayyy les!!! (also heck yeah im down)

**gay.sj** : spot and race got here just as he got up to bat so i think theyre good luck

**gay.sj** : so now they have to come to every game ever sorry i dont make The Rules

**gay.sj** : but theyre holding hands and the old guy in the corner of the bleachers is glaring daggers at them yikes

**mush.m** : *me, yelling loud enough that you hear me in new york* FUCK OFF OLD MAN ITS A NEW CENTURY

**kid.blink** : ^^ thats my boyfriend and i love him

**gay.sj** : the old man??

**kid.blink** : yes

**mush.m** : <33

**kid.blink** : <3333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all your comments!!!! positive feedback is the sole reason i keep writing!!!
> 
> please if yall want to draw/write things based off this fic please tag me in them on tumblr!!!!! 
> 
> i love you all!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jackie boy got sick

**cowboy.kelly** to  carry on the banana 

_11:21 AM_

 

 **cowboy.kelly** : Hi kids! This is Jack’s aunt Caroline! I have a question for all of you: What does my nephew mean when he says “all my friends are dating each other and carry on the banana is like one big platonic orgy”?

 **gay.sj** : caroline oh my god hi

 **pokerface** : carrie! how are you? i’m jacks friend racetrack, do you remember me from like a year ago?

 **cowboy.kelly** : Hello Racetrack! Answer my question!

 **kingofbrooklyn** : SAVAGE

 **davidjacobs** : Wait, why and in what context is Jack talking about this?

 **xballet.boyx** : hey caroline!! its specs and what jack means is that our friend group is made up of couples and crutchie and me (separately) and that in this group chat, we all love each other platonically and there’s a lot of platonic love to go around :)

 **cowboy.kelly** : Thank you, Specs. Anyways, to answer davidjacobs’s (I’m sorry, I don’t know you) question, Jack has a bad cold and I gave him Nyquil and that’s what he said after he passed out on the couch with a tissue up his nose.

 **davidjacobs** : Caroline, I’m David, Jack’s boyfriend.

 **cowboy.kelly** : Oh hi Davey! Jack was talking about you right before he passed out!

 **davidjacobs** : Oh God.

 **cowboy.kelly** : He was talking about how handsome you are and how much he loves you and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with you even if it’s not romantically, which is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard him say in the 15 years he’s lived with me.

 **gay.sj** : AHAHAHAHAHAHHA DAVID JUST SCREAMED AND DROPPED HIS PHONE ON THE GROUND

 **xballet.boyx** : AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHha also omg thats adorable

 **kingofbrooklyn** : i wish someone loved me that much

 **pokerface** : fuck u spot

 **kingofbrooklyn** : okay ;))

 **cowboy.kelly** : Okay kids that’s enough internet for me today! I have to go grocery shopping! Have a great day!

 **pokerface** : good fucking job, spot

 **kingofbrooklyn** : fuck off

 **newsbian** : wait Caroline can i come over and supervise Jack??

 **cowboy.kelly** : That’d be great! Who are you, though?

 **newsbian** : im Katherine

 **cowboy.kelly** : Oh! Of course, Kath!

 **newsbian** : awesome

 **newsbian** : i'm on my way over now!

 **gay.sj** : keep us updated on all the weird shit he says

 **xballet.boyx** : im so glad this is happening

 **crippled.crouton** : Sick Jack is the best and worst version of Jack…

 **pokerface** : same wtf

 **pokerface** : its so funny tho he says the dumbest shit ever

 **davidjacobs** : What has he said before?

 **pokerface** : i have a doc of shit hes said hold on

 **xballet.boyx** : my personal favorite jack-ism is “david bowie, space cowboy”

 **mush.m** : HAHAHAHA ME

 **kingofbrooklyn** : hes not wrong??? ziggy stardust was the han solo of music and han solo was a space cowboy

 **kingofbrooklyn** : han solo is from star wars, mush

 **mush.m** : i’m never gonna live that down, am i

 **pokerface** : no

 **newsbian** : i have arrived at the Kelly residence

 **newsbian** : i have decided to make hot cocoa because Caroline has salted caramel hot cocoa Keurig things

 **gay.sj** : im jealous

 **newsbian** : hold on, Jack’s mumbling

 **newsbian** : he’s singing ‘Shiksa Goddess’ from The Last 5 Years??

 **newsbian** : he’s dead asleep what the hell

 **newsbian** : i picked up his arm and he feels like he’s actually dead

 **davidjacobs** : Make sure he’s not actually dead, please.

 **newsbian** : he’s breathing, Davey, it’s fine

 **newsbian** : HE SAT UP AND STARED AT ME

 **newsbian** : HIS EYES ARE OPEN

 **newsbian** : THIS IS REAL SCARY HE’S NOT SAYING ANYTHING

 **kingofbrooklyn** : oh my god send a picture

 **newsbian** sent _ishedead.jpg_

 **kingofbrooklyn** : holy fuck

 **pokerface** : thats some paranormal shit yikes get some holy water

 **newsbian** : he just said something along the lines of “get fucked” and now im worried

 **newsbian** : now he said “because he believes you are the kangaroo”

 **kingofbrooklyn** : holy shit

 **newsbian** : hold on i’m gonna videotape this

 **pokerface** : this is so funny wtf

 **gay.sj** : i wish i was there honestly

 **newsbian** : i wish you were here too, this is the greatest day of my life

 **xballet.boyx** : shouldnt the greatest day of yoiur life be your wedding

 **newsbian** : i haven’t gotten married yet, have i?

 **kingofbrooklyn** : i wish i was there too

 **newsbian** sent _holyshitjack.mov_

 **newsbian** : AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH

 **newsbian** : (*dead silence* Jack, screaming: tHE SPEED IS REAL)

 **pokerface** : hOLY SHIt

 **kingofbrookyln** : whatt ehy ufkc

 **xballet.boyx** : okay jack needs to not do that

 **newsbian** : he’s awake! He’s still very loopy, though

 **newsbian** : he’s going to the kitchen oh no

 **pokerface** : oh god

 **gay.sj** : kath whered u go

 **kingofbrooklyn** : she gone

 **xballet.boyx** : bye kath, you will be missed dearly.

 **newsbian** : calm down guys, i’m not dead

 **newsbian** : also Jack stubbed his toe on a doorframe and screamed “fuck” just as Caroline walked in the house

 **xballet.boyx** : oh

 **newsbian** : so, i now know Jack's full name.

 **xballet.boyx** : oH

 **pokerface** : SPILL SPILL SPILL

 **gay.sj** TELL US

 **newsbian** : Caroline says it’ll be funny to see your reactions so

 **newsbian** : it’s Jackson Christopher Kelly

 **davidjacobs** : Jackson?

 **gay.sj** : hell yeah now i can tease himmmm

 **kingofbrooklyn** : im changing his contact to his full name YEET

 **pokerface** : has he looked at his phone yet

 **cowboy.kelly** : now i have

 **cowboy.kelly** : fuck yiu gsuys for makinf funm of mem

 **cowboy.kelly** : god mifjt

 **davidjacobs** : A translation: “Fuck you guys for making fun of me. Good night.”

  
**cowboy.kelly** : FICK YUI DAVEU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry i didnt post a chapter last week!!! i wasnt doing so hot mentally and couldnt get myself to write :// im sorry!!! its here now though!!
> 
> next week: a character returns, and becomes reoccuring


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> newspaper club!!! a new character!!!! gayness!!

**newsbian** to  carry on the banana

_ 3:12 PM _

**newsbian** : guess who has two thumbs and was elected head of the school paper!

**gay.sj** : HELL YEAH BABE CONGRATS!!!!

**cowboy.kelly** : congratulations!! write an article on my art expo!! its been weeks!!

**xballet.boyx** : jack ur so petty wtf calm down 

**xballet.boyx** : but congrats kath!! thats awesome!!

**crippled.crouton** : Congrats Kath!! I knew you could do it!!

**newsbian** : thanks guys!!

**gay.sj** : can i write an article

**newsbian** : about what?

**gay.sj** : our school needs a damn gsa 

**gay.sj** : and i want to tell administration that we do bc they never listen

**gay.sj** : and having that in the paper would be a statement.

**cowboy.kelly** : KILL IT GIRL

**newsbian** : preach babe

**davidjacobs** : I fully support this.

**kid.blink** : congratulations kath!

**xballet.boyx** : hECK YEAh 

**mush.m** : hey i don’t mean to interrupt but remember that one kid? skittery or something?

**cowboy.kelly** : ye

**mush.m** : can he be added to the group?? I really want to meet him, he seems super cool

**crippled.crouton** : Yeah!! I’d love to get in touch with him again!!

**pokerface** : congrats kath!! and yes i approve this mission

**cowboy.kelly** : i’ll ask him!

**kid.blink** : do itt

**newsbian** : yes!!!

**xballet.boyx** : yessss   
  


**cowboy.kelly** to  **wittyskitty**

_ 3:51 PM  _

**cowboy.kelly** : hey dude can i add you to the squads gc? they all want to meet you really bad!!

**wittyskitty** : aww omg sure!! 

**wittyskitty** : how many people are in the chat?

**cowboy.kelly** : 10 including me

**wittyskitty** : that’s not bad actually lmao i have one with 15 people and it’s chaos

**wittyskitty** : but yeah add me!!

**cowboy.kelly** : great!!

**cowboy.kelly** added  **wittyskitty** to  carry on the banana

 

**wittyskitty** to  carry on the banana

_ 4:03 PM _

**wittyskitty** : hello all!!

**wittyskitty** : i’m skittery!! i use they/them pronouns!!

**mush.m** : hiiiiiii!!!!

**cowboy.kelly** : lets do introductions

**cowboy.kelly** : obviously you already know specs but 

**cowboy.kelly** : name, pronouns 

**cowboy.kelly** : if youre dating someone in this gc say that too i guess

**mush.m** : i’m mush, he/him pronouns!!!

**kid.blink** : yo im blink, he/him, mush is my bf

**kingofbrooklyn** : heyo im spot, he/him, but i have a question for u

**wittyskitty** : okay??

**kingofbrooklyn** : is your tumblr also wittyskitty

**newsbian** : im Katherine, she/her pronouns, Sarah is my lovely darling girlfriend :))

**wittyskitty** : @ spot: yeah!!

**kingofbrooklyn** : omg

**gay.sj** : aww kath <33 im sarah, she/her pronouns!!

**davidjacobs** : I’m David (or Davey, to everyone else), he/him pronouns, and Jack is my boyfriend (sadly).

**kingofbrooklyn** : i follow u on tumblr?? i have been for a while?? ur hilarious???

**wittyskitty** : lol omg!! 

**crippled.crouton** : Hi Skittery!! Its Crutchie!!

**wittyskitty** : crutchie!! my boy, my dude!! how are you??

**crippled.crouton** : Im good!! 

**xballet.boyx** : you know me :)) he/him pronouns

**pokerface** : yo what up its race, he/him pronouns, im dating the piece of shit king of brooklyn whos apparently been following you on tumblr??????????

**wittyskitty** : hi all!! this is so cool!! i know 4 of you but i love making new friends!!! 

**cowboy.kelly** : this is awesome

**gay.sj** : so skittery,,,, do you live in ny too??? 

**wittyskitty** : i used too, i moved to boston after middle school though

**newsbian** : hows Boston???

**wittyskitty** : it’s very confusing if you’ve lived in ny all your life

**wittyskitty** : ny is blocks and squares, but boston is nonsense

**wittyskitty** : there are no squares, the street names don’t make anything better or easier, all the streets are curvy and weird, and there are only 10 theaters vs ny’s 42

**wittyskitty** : which isnt a huge deal?? but there are good things too!! it’s super historical around here!! the first battle of the revolutionary war was near boston!!

**newsbian** : thats so cool!!

**crippled.crouton** : Have you been back to New York???

**wittyskitty** : yeah!! i saw falsettos in december and i saw sunday in the park went i spent a week there recently!!! 

**davidjacobs** : How was Sunday In The Park? I wanted to see it, it’s one of my favorite shows!

**wittyskitty** : it was great!! annaleigh was so lovely, i met her afterwards!!

**mush.m** : i saw falsettos too!!!!!!!! andrew rannells is a doll and a lovely lovely man <3

**kid.blink** : would you screw andrew rannells if you had the chance

**mush.m** : um

**mush.m** : no??? I love him but i love you more

**mush.m** : ALSO i’m only 17????? he’s like 30

**kid.blink** : GAY but also would you be mad if i did???? im 18 and legal and hes very attractive

**mush.m** : no omg i’d totally understand wow

**wittyskitty** : hey jack is this ^^^ normal for this chat

**cowboy.kelly** : this is actually really rare for mush and blink??? Usually its race and spot talkin bout banging people

**pokerface** : true

**kingofbrooklyn** : and banging each other ;))))

**wittyskitty** : oh my god

**cowboy.kelly** : G U Y S 

**pokerface** : sorry jack 

**kingofbrooklyn** : also sorry skittery

**mush.m** : i’m actually watching falsettos rn, i found another bootleg and damn andrew looks  _ good  _ god damn

**mush.m** : it’s from another angle too!!! 

**newsbian** : mush thats me about Sarah and her new insta post 

**gay.sj** : thx for the promo babe also everyone go like my insta post :)) 

**cowboy.kelly** : no

**gay.sj** : davids in it

**cowboy.kelly** : brb

**davidjacobs** : Wow, Jack. 

**cowboy.kelly** : what did i do?? 

**davidjacobs** : Nothing, nevermind.

**cowboy.kelly** : babe please

**cowboy.kelly** : is it about sarahs insta??

**cowboy.kelly** : im sorry

**cowboy.kelly** : daveyyyyy

**davidjacobs** : What?

**cowboy.kelly** : i love youuuuu

**wittyskitty** : awWW

**davidjacobs** : Love you too.

**wittyskitty** : i’m assuming this is also normal

**gay.sj** : jackson christopher kelly here borderline worships my brother

**cowboy.kelly** : thAT IS NOT TRUE

**newsbian** : …

**kingofbrooklyn** : jackie boy,,,, lying is a sin

**cowboy.kelly** : shut up 

**davidjacobs** : It’s true, Jack. We both know it.

**cowboy.kelly** : >:((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys im v sorry that this was late, my brains been very not good. its the end of the school year so im really busy :// im sorry.
> 
> also i talk about boston with experience, that place is a heckin mess
> 
> next week: disney!!!!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> disney!!!!

**gay.sj** to  carry on the banana 

_ 2:23 AM  _

**gay.sj** : i hope no ones awake but ME AND DAVE AND LES AND JACK AND MY PARENTS ARE ON A PLANEEEEEE

 **wittyskitty** : why???

 **cowboy.kelly** : DISNEY HERE WE COME

 **wittyskitty** : omg have fun!!!!!!

 **pokerface** : u fuckers better buy me souvenirs

 **xballet.boyx** : me too bitches

_5:47 AM_

**mush.m** : hey guys, not to alarm you but,,,, me and blink are in disney rn

 **gay.sj** : wait what omg

 **cowboy.kelly** : I JUST SCREAMED

 **mush.m** : would you be opposed to maybe meeting up somewhere???

 **gay.sj** : that would be amazing holy fuck

 **davidjacobs** : Wow, what a coincidence!

 **mush.m** : are you guys in the parks today?

 **cowboy.kelly** : ye

 **mush.m** : any one in particular??

 **gay.sj** : lemme ask mom brb

 **davidjacobs** : Yes, we were planning on Magic Kingdom today and maybe Hollywood Studios later.

 **crippled.crouton** : Tell Esther I say hi!!!

 **mush.m** : wow davey coming through with those solid plans

 **mush.m** : it just so happens that we will also be in magic kingdom!!

 **gay.sj** : crutchie, my mom says hi back and that she loves you!!! and mush YECK HEAH im so excited about this

 **gay.sj** : we gtg tho, we got shit to dooo

 **mush.m** : have fun!!

_8:08 AM_

**xballet.boyx** : oaky what the fuck

 **kingofbrooklyn** : oaky

 **xballet.boyx** : shut the fuck up

 **kingofbrooklyn** : no

 **kingofbrooklyn** : but also i agree what the fuck

 **davidjacobs** : What’s the “what the fuck” for?

 **xballet.boyx** : yall are the fuck in disney?? with mush and blink?? thats not fair?? so fuck you all??

 **kid.blink** : sorry my dude

 **kid.blink** : we might be goin to ny soon though

 **kid.blink** : oh shit that was gonna be a surprise

 **kid.blink** : nevermindd we arent doing that

 **xballet.boyx** : HELL YEAH COME TO NY

 **kingofbrooklyn** : why are u comin to ny???

 **mush.m** : my parents are trying to fix my depression/anxiety/problems by giving me pretty much anything i want except using my name and pronouns so theyre thinking if bringin me and blink to ny to see a few shows

 **kingofbrooklyn** : im sorry dude that sucks ://

 **mush.m** : but for some reason they weren’t opposed to blink coming along??

 **mush.m** : to disney i mean

 **mush.m** : they think me having a bf will make me be a “Good Christian Daughter” and that blink will be “a Good Influence on my Femininity”

 **kingofbrooklyn** : NEWSFLASH @ UR PARENTS: TRANS BOYS HAVING BFS JUST MAKES THEM GAYER BYE

 **mush.m** : fuckin preach

 **cowboy.kelly** : come to nyc we have pride and love for u

 **mush.m** : unlike tx ://

 **kid.blink** : but now fl does too!! bc yall are here

 **cowboy.kelly** : honestly i cant wait to meet u guys its gonna be lit

 **cowboy.kelly** : what resort are u at???

 **mush.m** : the decades one on the lake

 **gay.sj** : YO WERE THERE TOO!!!!!

 **gay.sj** : POP CENTURY, RIGHT

 **mush.m** : yEAh

 **cowboy.kelly** : SHOOK YO COME HANG OUT WITH US!!!!!!!

 **cowboy.kelly** : ill dm u the room # my dude i want to meet u!!

 **mush.m** : would the jacobs’ be okay with that??

 **davidjacobs** : My parents are in a different room with Les, and they know you guys are trustworthy, so yes! Come hang out with us! We can all go to the parks at the same time!

 **kid.blink** : were on our way omg

 **kid.blink** : yous should see mushie rn hes flippin his shit

 **xballet.boyx** : “yous” u from the bronx, blink?

 **gay.s** j: AHH IM SO EXCITED

 **kid.blink** : @ specs shhhhhh

 **xballet.boyx** : im honestly so jealous yall are hangin out tbh

 **crippled.crouton** : Me too :(((

 **pokerface** : not to ruin my reputation but me too

 **newsbian** : im jealous, too

 **mush.m** : wait!! we can all skype!! rn!!

 **kingofbrooklyn** : hell im down

 **wittyskitty** : add me in on this skype!! i wanna meet mush + blink!!

 **cowboy.kelly** : oh yeah skits u havent been here long enough for a monthly skype sesh omg

 **gay.sj** : also look

 **gay.sj** sent _thegaysindisney.jpg_

 **xballet.boyx** : JEALOUS

 **davidjacobs** : We’re starting the Skype call, by the way.

 **crippled.crouton** : Yay!!!

_9:26 AM_

**cowboy.kelly** : WHO WANTS TO SEE THE GAYEST SHIT IVE EVER DONE

 **kingofbrooklyn** : if you send a picture of davey im leaving this chat

 **gay.sj** : oH MY GOD SPOT

 **cowboy.kelly** : >:((((

 **cowboy.kelly** : im sending it anyway

 **cowboy.kelly** sent _meanddaveonmainst.jpg_

 **cowboy.kelly** : i am gay and in love and in disney and i couldnt resist but im not sorry at all BYE

 **xballey.boyx** : AWWWWWW

 **gay.sj** : (mush n blink did the same thing also theyre the gayest boys ive ever met??)

 **gay.sj** : (its also the cutest shit ive ever seen)

 **newsbian** : cuter than me, Sarah?

 **gay.sj** : babe listen

 **gay.sj** : youre gorgeous and stunning and an ethereal being but those boys,,,

 **gay.sj** : i stg theyre soulmates oh my god theyre so precious

 **kingofbrooklyn** : are u guys gonna meet any characters

 **davidjacobs** : Currently, we’re heading over to meet Mary Poppins and I could not be more excited!

 **cowboy.kelly** : hes so excited its so adorable???

 **kingofbrooklyn** : jackie boy u gotta meet rapunzel

 **cowboy.kelly** : omg hell yeah

 **gay.sj** : IM JOINING YOU HELL YEAH I LOVE HER

 **davidjacobs** : MARY WAS SO LOVELY!!!!!!!

  
**cowboy.kelly** sent _daveyandmary.jpg_

 **cowboy.kelly** sent _medaveandmary.jpg_

 **cowboy.kelly** : she said that i had a mischievous light in my eye??? i love her??

 **pokerface** : seems legit

 **mush.m** : we just met tiana and oh my god!!! she asked me if there were any princesses with us and i told her that i only know princes and then blink was like “im his prince!!” and she just kinda lit up and holy shit it was so nice

 **wittyskitty** : what a kind soul omg!!!!

 **cowboy.kelly** : theres a massive line to meet rapunzel but fuck it its happening, i gotta meet my art girl

 **gay.sj** : my mom just sent me a picture of les and peter pan omg

 **gay.sj** sent _lesandpeter.jpg_

 **gay.sj** : mom said that les said he never wants to grow up and that peter told him not to and that its better to never grow up and made him pledge

 **pokerface** : thats,,, the cutest shit ive ever heard

_10:34 AM_

**cowboy.kelly** : RAPUNZEL COMPLIMENTED MY SHIRT??? ITS A WHITE TANK TOP?? THAT SAYS “BI BI BI”??? THATS COVERED IN PAINT BC IM A MESS AND PAINTED IN A WHITE SHIRT???

 **gay.sj** : RAPUNZELS BI #CONFIRMED

 **gay.sj** : also she asked if jack was my eugene and i said no and that i had my own rapunzel back home and she smiled and told me to be good to my rapunzel and now im dead

 **kingofbrooklyn** : rapunzel: bi    me: dying

 **newsbian** : you’d better fucking be good to your Rapunzel, Sarah  
**gay.sj** : love uuuu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall. im super super sorry for all the late chapters lately. schools been hell but im out now!!!! its summer!! ill have a lot more time to write stuff!!! 
> 
> thanks for everything!! your feedback is the reason i write!!!
> 
> next week: stress!! but good stress!! and theatre!!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS IM SO SORRY ABOUT HOW LATE THISIS BUT I PROMISE ILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU

**cowboy.kelly** to  carry on the banana 

_1:14 PM_

 

**cowboy.kelly** : hey guysssssssss

**pokerface** : what

**cowboy.kelly** : guess whats happening in 2 days

**gay.sj** : SUMMER VOLLEYBALL TRYOUTS

**cowboy.kelly** : no

**cowboy.kelly** : i mean yes?? But no

**cowboy.kelly** : auditions for pippinnnnn are in 2 daysssss

**davidjacobs** : I know! I’m so excited!

**davidjacobs** : Though I’m also very stressed.

**pokerface** : oh shit i nearly forgot about those

**kingofbrooklyn** : FUCK okay what do we have to do for auditions

**xballet.boyx** : a song in the style of the show and a group dance

**cowboy.kelly** : how did u answer so fast

**xballet.boyx** : ive been prepared since i found out about auditions

**xballet.boyx** : i would suggest a song from wicked, godspell, or children of eden since those are schwartzs other shows

**davidjacobs** : Should I do “Save The People” from Godspell?

**cowboy.kelly** : yEAH

**crippled.crouton** : That would sound beautiful!!!

**newsbian** : I dont know what im singing but i know i want Catherine

**davidjacobs** : Thank you, Crutchie!

**kingofbrooklyn** : is singing from the show an option

**xballet.boyx** : yeah

**newsbian** : then can I just do Kind Of Woman?

**xballet.boyx** : yesss

**kingofbrooklyn** : im just gonna do like,, we beseech thee or something

**xballet.boyx** : im doing prepare ye

**cowboy.kelly** : god specs ur so extra

**xballet.boyx** : :))))

**davidjacobs** : Spot, “We Beseech Thee” would be perfect for your voice!

**kingofbrooklyn** : why do i feel attacked

**pokerface** : its the capital letters and the singular !

**kingofbrooklyn** : it sounds almost sarcastic

**kingofbrooklyn** : davey u bitch

**cowboy.kelly** : my boyfriend (god i love saying that) is no bitch

**gay.sj** : youve been dating for like 2 months why is saying boyfriend so great

**cowboy.kelly** : bECAUSE

**wittyskitty** : he’s been pining for like a year, that’s why

**cowboy.kelly** : nO thats not why i swear

**pokerface** : bitch yes it is

**xballet.boyx** : how did u know that skits???? we all just started talking again??

**xballet.boyx** : yikes that sounded awful im so sorry

**wittyskitty** : ~~ _witchcraft_ ~~

**wittyskitty** : nah specs it’s fine!!

**mush.m** : SKITTERYS A WITCH

**pokerface** : DONT BURN THEM AT THE STAKE PLEASE   
  
**xballet.boyx** : no but seriously kiddo how did u know

**wittyskitty** : i’m serious

**wittyskitty** : witchcraft

**gay.sj** : woah what

**wittyskitty** : jack can i tell them

**cowboy.kelly** : wait fuck was that your blog

**cowboy.kelly** : oh my god skits

**wittyskitty** : yeah, it was mine

**wittyskitty** : it’s kinda funny actually bc you sent me that ask and then we started talking briefly and neither of us had any idea it was us

**cowboy.kelly** : u can tell them about it then lmao

**wittyskitty** : jack sent me an ask on my witch blog and asked for a tarot reading so i did one for him and the cards said the last year of his life had been full of unrequited love so

**wittyskitty** : but i also pulled the two of cups for his future so i knew it was all gonna end up good??

**gay.sj** : that is,,, cool as hell but whats the two of cups

**wittyskitty** : it’s the one that means stuff like “unified love, marriage, partnership, etc”

**davidjacobs** : That’s so cool!

**davidjacobs** : Also, that’s _so damn cute_ , Jack.

**wittyskitty** : technically, it’s because of me that jack asked you out in the first place

**cowboy.kelly** : shHHH

**gay.sj** : IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT BUT THEY MOVED V-BALL TRYOUTS TO TOMORROW AND NOW IM STRESSED THE FUCK OUT

**newsbian** : breathe babe, you’ll do amazing!!

**crippled.crouton** : Sarah, youll do incredible!!!!!! I believe in you!!!!

**gay.sj** : thx yall but i gtg practice :/ have fun with ur audition talk

**davidjacobs** : In other news: I have gotten very little sleep because I’ve been catching up on schoolwork so I’m a little out of it.

**cowboy.kelly** : aww babe :((( go to bed

**davidjacobs** : Jack, it’s 2 in the afternoon. Do you know how badly that would mess up my sleep schedule?

**kingofbrooklyn** : davey ur the only person i know who cares about sleep schedules

**kingofbrooklyn** : the rest of us r up at 3am and take naps at like 4pm

**wittyskitty** : i can’t take naps tbh

**wittyskitty** : like idc about my sleep schedule but my body won’t let me take naps >:(((

**pokerface** : damn that must suck

**wittyskitty** : yeah it does :/// i miss preschool when napping was required

**xballet.boyx** : also yall i have the plague

**pokerface** : is it the dancing plague

**xballet.boyx** : the what now

**pokerface** : the great dancing plague of 1518

**kid.blink** : who is she

**pokerface** : these people in france were all like,, crazy and thought they couldnt stop dancing ever and most of them died of heart attacks or stroke

**kingofbrooklyn** : how in the good name of Fuck do u know that

**pokerface** : i know Things

**kingofbrooklyn** : no u dont?? tf?? u forgot what coffee was called the other day so u called it fucking _bean water_

**mush.m** : oH my god really

**kingofbrooklyn** : yes really hes a fuckin mess

**pokerface** : but im ur fuckin mess

**kingofbrooklyn** : blocked cancelled never speak to me again get away from me

**crippled.crouton** : What the FUCK is happening????

**cowboy.kelly** : CRUTCHIE OH MY GOD

  
**pokerface** : SHOOK

**davidjacobs** : To be honest, Crutchie, that’s my thoughts exactly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry about how late this is but ive got a surprise for next week!!
> 
> next weeks chapter will be both a group chat conversation and a third person section!! so itll be a mix of the two!!
> 
> a hint: pool parties!!

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is appreciated!!!! 
> 
>  
> 
> twitter: @/finns_dead  
> tumblr: @/dxveyjacobs


End file.
